The image is repeated more than we think or worse, more than we realize.
Boy or girl in the park and his father or mother looking closely at the Smartphone "is a moment, nothing more" or "I can do both at once" are the phrases most heard but this is what experts are calling now "Distracted Parenting" or when we look at the cell phone more than our children, does this happen to you too?
Squares, parks, shopping centers, some even walk or drive while looking at your mobile. They begin to be called as "Smombies" to those passersby who walk while looking at their mobile.
In fact, this behavior has become widespread to the point that it has begun to be a danger to the users themselves and cities such as Stockholm, Antwerp or Brussels, among others, have indicated the roads or areas for those adults who consider it more important to walk a like your own safety when moving.
But the worst part is that being as we are in general, Hyperconnected adults, this is getting into the upbringing of our own children although it seems that we are not even realizing it.
We are concerned about the abuse our children make of new technologies, of videogames on tablets. We worry when this abuse translates into problems at school, behavioral problems or problems to establish social relationships, we are worried because we sometimes see that it isolates them from both friends and family but We are not aware of the use that we give to these new technologies to all those gadgets that accompany us and in the end the children are seeing hyperconnected adults and those adults are too often their own parents.
Parenting distracted parents
This is how different experts have begun to define it "distracted parenting" that of the fathers and mothers that we are but without being when we spend time with our children.
Because it has become a habit to be almost compulsively aware of mobile ads and this habit or really this abuse, directly and indirectly influences the upbringing of our children.
And our children notice, they are small yes but they are not dumb and they feel that in those moments they have lost the connection with their parents, so surely before or after and in one way or another they will manifest their discomfort how and when they can and always within your means depending on your age. It is easy for them to feel that physically their parents are with them, but they are aware of something else, they feel they care less as it is logical to understand.
Parents are the primary reference of our children's behaviors, we are their mirror, our behavior gives them guidelines to develop their own behavior. If they appreciate that usually there is usually something more important than them when we are together, they will understand that that something can also be more important than their own parents when they are old and even their own children when they are parents. And that "something" we already know that it is too many times: the mobile, the smartphone.
The child not only grows physically that this is the most obvious thing, he also does it emotionally and to do it in a constructive and positive way, he needs dad and mom to be present, not only physically but also his mind, his thoughts, his attention, when they are together.
When they are younger they need to play with their reference adults, their models, their parents and when they grow they need to develop a relationship that allows them to talk with them and neither of them: play or talk with our children, it is compatible that our attention We give it to what our mobile phone demands.
Reflect and Act
We could start by honestly answering some questions:
- Why is it so hard for me to disconnect?
- Where is happening what really matters in my life right now?
- Is what they have to tell me via mobile so urgent and so important that they cannot wait?
- Am I using my cell phone as a shield because I think I don't know how to relate to my children?
Yes, some questions are complicated and perhaps that is why they are the most important for us to answer in a brave and sincere way, but we are only wasting time ... again.
Once we have reflected as adults, we have taken account of the time that the mobile steals from our relationship with our children and we have concluded that this time is excessive and is not justified one hundred percent, we have to take measures to respect.
For example, concrete measures such as Turn off mobile phones during meal times or leave them in another room, at least.
It is known that the time of the meal is impoverished in a very sad way when the adults are pending on the mobile and are deceived with what they "can be in two places at once".
Or more drastic measures, such as Set the time to be with our children free of technology for everyone.
We cannot forget that The example is always given by parents and that with our behavior we do not allow a minute to educate our children.
