The other day I talked with some friends about how much the concept of "vacations" changes when we become parents. One of them summed up his opinion in one sentence: "after a vacation with my children, what I need is a vacation ". And I couldn't agree more with her.
And if we were asked the question "what do we expect from the holidays?", I imagine that most of us would answer that rest, something extremely complicated - at least from my experience - when we travel with children. How have your vacations changed since you became a mother?
My vacation as a mother of three
I have spent a truly wonderful holiday with my family, enjoying the sea and the luck of being all together. But if you asked me if I rested during this time, my answer is clear: I have not done so.
I had fun and disconnected mentally, but I have not been able to rest physically. And, with three young children, I find it very complicated!Therefore, if we identify the term "vacation" with "rest," I keep wondering: At what time of the holidays do the mothers rest? (Or the parents !, that I speak from my experience)
The hustle and bustle begins with the time to prepare luggage. As I have been having children I have realized how complex it can be to prepare a large family's suitcase. There is no doubt that we have to simplify, and take only the really essential, but when you have three children, theory and practice do not usually correspond.
"But what do we get! The whole house?" - Your husband asks snorting while trying to make space in the trunk to put all the luggage that you have considered essential.
It cost you horrors to close your bags, but you know that your children will not lack anything during the days you are out. Clothes of all kinds "in case" (in case it is cold, in case it is hot, in case it is too hot, if it cools at night ...), your medicines "in case" (in case they get bad, in case they do not there would be a pharmacy nearby ...), their toys, their toiletries, their stories, their pacifiers and bottles ... No detail has escaped you!
As for the holiday accommodation, in our case we decided to spend the bulk of our holidays in apartments or rural houses. In my opinion, I consider it more comfortable and practical for children but much more tired for parents since housework is still our business.
Tailor the holidays to children
Before being a mother, the type of vacation that my husband and I were looking for was mainly city and cultural tourism. Knowing the cities in depth, seeing their museums, their squares and trying the typical food of each place in the recommended restaurants, was our favorite plan.
Talking with my friends about this issue, we all agree that since we became mothers, our vacation priorities have changed and now we adapt to what our children demand."I long to see cities, stones and museums but my children just want to be soaked" - said a mom, friend.
"Before we went from one place to another to discover the world, we stayed with friends to have a drink or we could read calmly. Now we cannot do any of that, but I see their smiles and their glowing face and that is worth it" - said another.
"In my case, what weighs me the most is fatigue. Not even if I am in the middle of Bali in the shade of a coconut palm rest, because if it is not a" play with me in the sand "is a" mommy, look what I do "or" Mommy, I'm hungry / pee / sand in the eye. "Also, wherever you go you always keep an eye on the possible dangers:" Do not run for the stones you fall "," do not climb on that wall "," give me the hand we crossed "... I think a mother never rests" - made up another mother.
Listening to them I felt tremendously identified and that is, Since I was a mother I have changed the stones of the cities for the sand and the sea. It is what my children like, with what they enjoy and have fun and we have decided to adapt.
On the beach and in the pool, unless we can take turns with our couple in the care of children, it is normal and preferable that we both have to be aware of the children, so that four eyes look better than two ( especially when we have more than one child).
Run behind them to give them sun cream, watch that they don't take off their hats, bathe with them every time they want to get in the water, don't take our eyes off them, make sandcastles, fly kites, give them the mid-morning lunch that you've previously prepared … In short, a day at the beach or pool with children will be tremendously fun but little or nothing rested.
And so day after day: looking for tourist plans to do with the kids, going to the beach and swimming pool at any time, playing a football game with the elder, enjoying in the summer cinema or in the popular festivals typical of this time of year ... And all this without neglecting their routines and schedules, about all if they are babies, since at least in my case, spending time with meals or naps alters them a lot.
End of vacation ... have we rested?
Y when the holidays come to an end and we return home, singing at the top of my lungs in the car while we remember anecdotes of these days, suddenly I think about what my husband and I are waiting for when we arrive: unpacking, doing laundry of all dirty clothes, ironing, shopping to fill the shelf…
Definitely, work piecework so that the routine at home is reestablished as soon as possible. Because few children understand that post-holiday syndrome and need to have their clothes clean right away and eat and dine their usual homemade menus.
I escape for a few minutes while my children keep singing, and I try to remember how were my vacations before being a mom. But ... how curious! Just seven years of motherhood and I can hardly remember what I felt when I dedicated my time exclusively to myself and to adapt to the routine of return following my rhythm, without hurry or imposition.
"Come mom, sing with us!" - A little voice with a rag tongue shouts out of my thoughts. And I come back to reality and I smile invaded with love as I cross my mischievous gaze through the rearview mirror.
And then, I realize that still exhausted and with three days ahead of work at home, vacations with my little ones have been the best injection of vitamins, smiles and memories to treasure. And city tourism ... can wait!
Pictures Pixabay, Silvia Díaz
In Babies and More On vacation with the baby: simplify your life by taking only the basics, why does mom almost not appear in the holiday photos ?, Myth or truth? Can the household chores be distributed equally? Large families will be considered so until the child is 21 or 26 if they study, At the beach, without risks: five basic precautions with children, #OjoPequeAlAgua, the Child drowning prevention campaign and the 10/20 rule, Photoprotectors in children: everything you need to know to protect them from the sun, Children also suffer from post-vacation syndrome, how can we help them?
