How would a baby choose to be born?

We often talk in Babies and more about what the perfect birth would be like, what environment would be the right one, who should accompany the woman, what would be the best position and what interventions should or should not be done. With all this information we know what a woman can expect when giving birth or what would be ideal if a woman could choose how to give birth.

The act of giving birth has a lot to do with the act of being born (the woman stops and the child is born) and many of the choices that are made about the mother are related to the well-being of the baby, although we do not always express them in this way.

That's why today I want to focus on what a delivery or the birth of the baby should be like if I could choose, in case such information is useful when choosing how to give birth and, above all, to understand a little how babies live at birth.

The fewer changes, the better

Life is full of choices and paths to choose. The reasons for choosing one or the other option are very diverse and very personal and the ability to adapt to changes is different in each person.

Despite this difference there is one thing we all have in common: The more similar to what we know is the place we reach the easier the change is. Or put another way, the more familiar the environment we access, the better we adapt.

That's why it's easier to start a new job if we already know some of those who work there and that's why it's easier to travel to countries where they understand your language than others where they don't know what you say or know what they say.

This is obvious, however when a baby arrives in the world there are few people who take into account that, for a child to be born in a little “violent” way, the ideal is that when leaving he finds an environment as close as know, so that the changes arrive little by little.

Being born must be a very hard experience

The character of children is largely determined by genetics and to a large extent by the experiences they have once they are born. The person we are is made up of hundreds of pieces that add up as we grow to shape our personality and being born is one of those pieces.

Until now it has not been given too much importance at the time of birth, basically because when we are adults we do not remember it and, above all, because until recently it was thought that the brain of babies was not connected with the nerve endings of pain and suffering (and babies were operated without anesthesia ...).

At present, however, much importance is being given (but much) to the experiences of babies in the first years of life, since it is observed that what a child receives during the first years of his life are the basis of his personality, his character and his ability to manage stress and anxiety in adulthood.

For this reason, the importance of giving abundant love and affection to children, understanding, respect and dialogue and teaching them to be free and to respect the freedom of others is emphasized.

Well (to what it was), one of those experiences that leave a mark on people, perhaps the most important, is birth. A moment that can be very hard for children, especially if we take into account that when a child is born it is conscious (when we die, however, we tend to be unconscious).

How big that footprint can be, I don't know, but who knows what it would be like if our birth had been less violent for us and if we had adapted to the world in a more gradual way, maybe we would be safer people of ourselves, maybe more sociable or perhaps the same way we are now. In any case, however, the ideal is to be more empathetic and put ourselves in the skin of babies, understanding that for them it is a new process, a (huge) change and that, as such, I should live it in a way that could adapt slowly, especially if it is in our hands to do so.

If I come from the dark, may the light not wait for me

Babies live for nine months in absolute darkness and their eyes, therefore, have never seen the light. For this reason in the room or the delivery room, where the baby is to be born, there should be no dazzling lights, but a dim lighting that also helps the mother to be calmer, more relaxed and more focused on herself and her birth.

If I was with mom, may I still be with her

Until recently, babies were separated from their mothers as soon as they were born to be measured, weighed, washed and evaluated. There are things that do not require too much haste and that can be done later and there are others that can be done while the baby is still with his mother. Under normal conditions, if the baby is healthy, lor it is essential that before cutting the umbilical cord the baby stays with mom. Before he was attached to mom by the cord and inside her and now she is still attached to her by the cord and in contact with mom, who caresses him and gives her warmth with her body. The difference is appreciable, but it is not the big change that would mean absolute separation.

Thus, in addition, both know each other and begin to get used to each other. The baby knew mom inside and now she starts knowing her outside. It smells the same and sounds the same, because over his belly he hears his heart, so the relationship that began nine months ago continues, taking another step, without having yet separated.

If I didn't breathe inside, there's no hurry to do it outside

One of the biggest myths about childbirth is the one that suggests that a baby, as soon as he leaves, has to start breathing or else he will drown. Babies do not breathe while in the belly, because they live floating in amniotic fluid and because the necessary food and oxygen comes through the umbilical cord that joins the mother.

When a baby is born, the cord keeps beating for several minutes (by several I mean a quarter of an hour, twenty minutes or sometimes even more). While the cord is beating, it continues to provide the baby with blood and, therefore, oxygen. This means that the baby can remain outside without breathing for a few minutes without any emergency. After those minutes, as the cord supplies less and less oxygen, the baby begins to breathe on its own. It's that easy, without premature cord cuts that force them to breathe yes or yes, with cries caused by the violence of the process.

Water, why not?

One of the options when giving birth that many women choose is the water, the bathtub. Water helps calm the pain, in the water the contractions are better supported and if a child is born in the water, it goes from being in the amniotic fluid to being also in liquid, which it should be, to make it more similar to the place of origin, sea water.

Amniotic fluid is salty and seawater has the same amount of salt (proof that life originated in the sea, as explained by the theory of evolution). If a baby passes from one liquid to the other and both are very similar, the process will be much easier for him.

Photos | Nina Matthews Photography, Big D2112, derekmswanson on Flickr
In Babies and more | Benefits of early mother-baby contact, Born in a cozy environment, Do not be separated, campaign to promote contact between the newborn and his mother, Benefits of late cord clamping

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