It is one of the news these days, and one of the sources of debate on social networks, especially in circles of mothers and fathers, as well as health professionals. We refer to the story of Najat and Javier (fictitious names), to whom they have taken custody of their son Jonah, one year of life, considering that they had it in a situation of helplessness.
They, on the other hand, ensure that the causes have been exaggerated, and that even the information is being lied to and manipulated, and have initiated a collection of signatures seeking support for their situation, that of parents who have been days, weeks in fact, without their baby (and consequently, that of a baby who has been without their parents at the same time).
The little boy had anemia and malnutrition
As we read in El Español, which today has published a report talking about the case, the boy went to a hospital in Cádiz, where the family resides, because he had a fever close to 39 ° C, and they admitted him there because they saw that his condition was not the right one
In the report written by the Ministry of Equality and Social Policies, we read that upon arrival at the hospital "the child presented a general poor condition, with pale skin, sunken eyes ... Malnourished ... poor muscle mass, decayed, poor tone."
With a state of significant malnutrition and dehydration, and diagnosed with anemia, they decided to transfer him to another hospital to enter it in a pediatric ICU, where he stayed for a week. Social services began to move to study the case and take whatever actions they considered appropriate.
They didn't vaccinate him or take him to the pediatrician
In the hospital they discovered that the child was born in a home birth, and according to the report "he has not received any of the vaccines included as mandatory in the vaccination calendar and that" his parents had never taken the child to the pediatrician or to the control of the healthy child despite having detected that the child, two months ago, was down ... and without strength. "
In addition, the reports explained that with more than 10 months of age, the child fed exclusively on breast milk, that he had even dropped the path of his arm, because the mother had it permanently in his arms, and that from having so much it had come to cause him vomit.
Excerpt from the report. Source: The Spanish Thus, Jonah ended up in the plant with a diagnosis of "megaloblastic anemia" and "suspicion of encephalopathy due to deprivation of prenatal and postnatal vitamin B12, and severe malnutrition."
But the parents version is very different
According to the Change page, where they are collecting signatures, the diagnoses are true: the child has an anemia whose origin they are studying, and they are the first to have had a very bad time seeing him sick, and that they have been with their little one the hours they have needed to take care of him and help him be better.
Now, as they explain, the reports do not correspond to reality. Apparently, they affirm that the parents did not collaborate with the treatment because the mother was determined to continue breastfeeding the baby on demand and that caused more than one confrontation in the hospital.
It is also mentioned in the reports that they are strict vegetarians, but they claim that they eat "fish often, and ham from time to time "; and that in any case, being a vegetarian does not mean that the children will have a poor state of health.
The parents say that they are having a very bad time, and that their son is also having a very bad time, that the day he was discharged he left with a father's brother and his wife, "with whom the child has no link"Moreover, they say that they have offered to abide by all that they propose: medical checks, diets and even a check if it is necessary in their own home to observe every day. But they deny it.
On the other hand, they claim to have reports of private pediatricians who have taken the child several times. After reading about how to offer food to the child, they chose give the food in pieces, as recommended for a few years; and the little one had already tried several fruits, cereals and vegetables, although "not in large quantities". Concerned about it, they discussed it with a pediatrician who did not give it much importance, and with a pediatrician who did see it necessary to follow up (hence the importance of going to the reviews that were implemented years ago to find situations like this and act before it's too late).
In the middle of that process his teeth began to come out, and the family was immersed in "an unexpected move"That turned out to be" very stressful for everyone. "They thought the child was restless about it, but seeing that the color of his skin was changing They decided to go to the private pediatrician, scared.
Najat is an English primary school teacher at the Junta de Andalucía, a state official and a journalist; Javier, a humble waiter and a good windsurfer. She asked for a leave to be a mother and raise her baby, and is unable to understand what happens, when she herself has witnessed cases of children who have been mistreated, and who have not been separated from their parents.
But what hurts the most is who claim that he did not collaborate with the treatment, when she says that she went out of her way from the first moment, and every day in the hospital, and that she had to fight so much, in the health centers, for defend your child's right to be breastfed. And the doctors decided to give him artificial milk, from one day to the next, and when he saw that the boy rejected him they allowed him to breastfeed him, not without complaining that he always had it on him, and that he would breastfeed "at all hours and not for dessert, "because" I was using it as a pacifier. "
Who to believe?
I do not know. We do not know. There's no answer. Each version is different, and in fact they are opposed in many aspects. It is impossible (at least for me, as a father and a pediatric nurse) to position myself, because I believe that data is missing, or that one, or both parties, is not telling the truth.
On the one hand we have a 10-month-old baby in a very delicate state of health, and social services that, as a rule, They are usually very cautious when making such complex and committed decisions. On the other hand, we have a couple who says they go out of their way for their child, and who thinks they have taken care of their baby in the best way possible (without achieving it, according to the facts).
It is true that they refused to vaccinate him, but although the most responsible individual and collective level is to vaccinate, in Spain vaccines are not mandatory. It is true that the baby was still breastfeeding on demand, but it is that most babies of his age are, because although they eat, they continue to breastfeed. In fact, the WHO and the Spanish Association of Pediatrics recommend that during the first year, breast milk remains the main food of babies, and that the complementary feeding is that, a complement, the baby's dessert, a succession of foods that the baby has to taste, know, touch, feel, knead, suck, swallow, taste ...
It is also true, from what they explain, that in the hospital the baby spent hours in his mother's arms. If I had 10 months, in the process of separation distress, I would not find myself well and strange people would prick me and make me painful and annoying tests, the last thing I would want to do would be to stay in a crib or a bed, at the risk of being returned to do something I wouldn't separate from my mother in a second, and I would expect, in fact, that my mother would do the same, that won't let go of me for a moment.
What do I mean by all this? Well, honestly, these parents say they have done with their baby what thousands of mothers and fathers do every day with their children. And then the question is, And why was it so bad?
Well considering that you have a magaloblastic anemia, and that one of the causes is the vitamin B12 deficit, I can only think that although they ate fish and some ham, mother and baby had a deficit of the vitamin. And if the mother does not consume foods rich in vitamin B12, she should take a supplement so that don't miss that vitamin in your breast milk, as should the baby if he stops being breastfed. But beware, this is just the conclusion that I draw, and if so we would be talking about a baby, and parents, victims of ignorance, guilty of not knowing that in case of eliminating certain foods from the diet, it may be necessary to take supplements that do not put the baby's health at risk.
And no, it's not the fault of attachment breeding
And I say this because reading the article of The Spanish it seems that the fault of everything is the upbringing with attachment, which they describe as "a technique that involves permanent physical contact with the mother." In fact, in a paragraph of the text they define it as follows:
It is based on the permanent physical contact of the baby with the parents, on the breastfeeding of the child on demand, on the opposition to the nursery school - up to three years - or on its transfer without the use of cars, “skin with skin”. It is a baby care option that defends pediatrician Carlos González, author of books like Kiss me a lot. How to raise your children with love and Growing up together.
I don't know if Carlos González will have read this, but I can imagine him asking that they modify the definition of "parenting with attachment", or the withdrawal of his name and his image from the news. And it is that parenting with attachment has nothing to do with that definition, but is based on respect the baby's basic needs and boost creating a proper bond with him.
This is usually achieved by picking it up when asked, or carrying it, but cars are not prohibited, far from it. If the child is happy in his stroller, why avoid it, if there are times when they are doing very well?
It is also considered a basic need to be breastfed by your mother, but again, there are many mothers who do not breastfeed, and that is why it cannot be said that they will not have a proper bond are their baby.
And in reference to opposition to nursery school, it is a matter of educational logic, and of knowing the patterns of development: if babies are in their early years calibrating their emotional world, creating bonds and learning to be autonomous while still dependent, the most logical thing is that close and affectionate relationships with their referents are promoted, with the people they trust most, who are his mother and father. But if you have to make use of nursery schools because there is no real family reconciliation in our country, there is no choice but to take babies and children, and enjoy them in the remaining times.
In other words: there are thousands of mothers and fathers who use strollers, give bottles, do not have the child all day in their arms and take their children to nursery school, who raise worried about creating a strong bond with their children, and in consecuense, breed with attachment. And there are thousands of mothers and fathers who sleep with their children, breastfeed them and do not take them to nursery school, who because of their way of relating to them do not manage to create appropriate attachment bonds.
But this is another story, and I just want to end asking for sanity in the case of Jonah. If the parents did it wrong, or very badly, I don't know, but I don't think anyone can say they did it with the intention of harming them.
That being the case, being parents apparently worried about their son, I think the best solution would be to get back together (and I think mostly about the emotional health of the baby), with clear medical guidelines, based on the latest recommendations and evidence (and not in affirmations of the last century as "the dessert tit" or "you use a pacifier"), and a strict control of the child's health and compliance if necessary by the parents. He is only one year old and he has been separated from the people who love him most for a month.
Photos | iStock, The Spanish
In Babies and more | What if you take custody of your child for not being a traditional mother ?, But what does parenting have to do with attachment with giving homeopathy, not vaccinating and not giving milk ?, Is there the Natural Aging pack: natural birth, Colecho, no vaccinations, portage and breastfeeding on demand? (I) and (II)
