Perhaps this scene sounds familiar to you: you are in a public place accompanied by your child, it is a casual outing, such as an appointment with the doctor, shopping or visiting friends. But then, your child decides that it is time to do mischief or to insist on getting something that you have already said no.
It also surely happened to you when you are in the market, while you quietly do the shopping of the week and your little one decides to start making a tantrum or tantrum because something did not seem.
Like all good tantrums, it begins gradually. Maybe he asked you for something you denied or didn't like what you put in the cart. Or maybe it's the reason he regularly hides behind the biggest tantrums in history: he's sleepy.
Whatever the reason, your son has decided that something was not right and should be made clear as soon as possible. What begins with a small complaint soon escalates into a true drama. And suddenly the two meet, halfway through when there is no way to calm him down.
That's when "the look" arrives. You know which one I'm talking about. You have done it, I have done it, probably all mothers have done it. Come on, that even Kate Middleton with all her grace and real manners has done it:
"The look on your face when everyone is watching you and you are trying to keep your children calm."
Yes, that look when you are in a public place, your children start to set up a scene and people start to turn around to see why such a scandal is due. You have no choice but to try to remain calm, breathe deeply and kindly ask them to calm down and wait. If that doesn't work, you repeat it again and again, while you look.
And how is the look?
It is the one you put when you have to keep your composure but you want your child - telepathically - to understand and pay attention to you. Trying to keep calm, you try to smile slightly but your eyes show a menacing look. And even if your lips say: "Child, please wait"What your eyes are trying to say is another deeper message:"Son, enough is enough. Please! Could you calm down? Look at me, pay attention to me. If you don't calm down ... "
And suddenly, the phrase that you had said in a sweet voice, you find yourself reciting it with some small variables but each time with less patience and between teeth.
For tantrums, patience
Dealing with tantrums in public is not an easy thing. Sometimes we are having a bad day or we have not rested and we are more irritable or sensitive than usual. Being this way it is even easier to lose patience and it can happen to anyone. It doesn't matter if you are a Duchess, Princess or even the Queen herself. The problems or difficulties of mothers can happen to us all because we live very similar experiences.
It is important to remember and understand that tantrums are just a normal stage of their development. And while "the look" is not the best way to deal with tantrums in public (and that often does not work), we must try Always talk to our children with respect and without shouting.
Sometimes it's easier give a little and be flexible, or look for some other way to calm them, like giving him alternatives to what he was asking for or explaining the reasons and telling him that something else is better for him.
Dealing with tantrums and tantrums sounds easier than it is. We know that to say it to do it there is a big difference, because it is not the same to read advice calmly, to try to find a solution to half tantrum when your son screams at the top of his lungs.
Of course we are aware that "the look" is not the best reaction because we practically use it when we are about to lose our minds, but it's sometimes the only way we find to keep calm and not start acting crazy In the middle of the supermarket.
Find moments to relax
Motherhood often pushes us very, very far from our Zen zone. Finding moments of calm or to relax when you have small children at home is sometimes very difficult.
But that is why it is important that as mothers we can ask for and receive help from time to time. We too we must have moments to rest and recharge (and patience).
And you, have you done "the look"? Tell us how you handle tantrums in public.
Photos | iStock, mahfrot on Flickr
In Babies and more | Maternity and paternity course: handling tantrums, Tantrums, Tantrums according to Rosa Jové
