Three days ago I read in El Norte de Castilla a writing by the psychologist Carlos Pajuelo talking about how today's parents hypercelebrate Any event in the lives of our children. It seemed to me such a successful reflection that I wanted to explain it from my father's point of view that when he sees a party invitation he starts to notice that the hives go up while assessing what is better, if he loses it without wanting, trying to occupy the child with another event that day or just do bad cop and tell him it's going to be no.
And, perhaps because they think it is a good way to value their achievements, or because they really believe that their children are special (all are special, I mean special above other children), or because they believe that if not They do their children will always hate them, many parents prepare children's parties for everything, even to the excess, without it being really positive for them or for our portfolios: Do we really have to celebrate with parties everything our children do? And you really have to celebrate it like this?
A party for everything
The most exaggerated parents throw a party for everything. If it is the day of the birthday, obviously, if it is the day of his saint, if he has earned good grades, that the course is over, that it is Valentine's Day, that it is the day of I do not know what, that they have finished the education cycle Children, the entrance to the school, the farewell of the course, we are going to celebrate that today you have won the match, that exam you have passed, etc. And so the children go from party to party, some larger, some smaller, celebrating events that are actually routine.
Other slightly less celebratory parents are limited to birthdays and little else. And here then the question depends on the type of party that is made. There are those who celebrate it with the children of the school, with the children of the extracurriculars, with the cousins, with ... and, or they make more than one party, or they mount a party in the end that there is dozens of people to celebrate the birthday of a 3 or 4 year old boy, which on many occasions does not even have fun.
I have seen children crying at their birthday party, and at his side some parents totally overwhelmed by trying to make everything perfect, without enjoying either the party, or their son, who is overwhelmed because now he has to play, now he has to snack, now the cake, now the candles, now make yourself some photos with the children, and now sit here that more than 20 or 30 children are going to make an endless queue to give each one the gift they bring you, without knowing many or what's under the wrapping paper.
And wait, because you are invited by your child's class, but sometimes, by affinity, also those of the other class (there are schools with more than one line). This never ends. And of course, "as he invited me to his party, I will have to invite mine ...", and in the end you have about 30-40 families repeating every week or every two (because there are lots of birthdays), from party to party, that turns out children have more social life than we adults.
And if like me, you have three children, you begin to value suicide, or make the phrase "better once red than a hundred yellow": you make them clear in the WhatsApp group, or in a loud voice, that you are not going to go to any party, unless both parties and gifts are unified, so that several children celebrate a birthday on the same day and gifts are bought together. That neither I want nor can I buy 30-40 gifts, not even a child should receive them.
The risks of celebrating the everyday
Why avoid it? Well, as Pajuelo says, because normal, everyday, no need to celebrate. And less in a way too ostentatious. Of course you can and should celebrate a birthday, but it is enough to gather the closest children, give a detail among all, set up a snack and play. It is his special day, and that already makes it special.
The rest of the days, normal life. If we celebrate everything, they end up believing that we have to give them things at all times, as if the functioning of society were this: provide children with toys, enjoyment and fun at the slightest occasion.
If, in addition, everything is to spend the money, the message is not very lucky either: happiness is not bought. Happiness comes from a position to value what you have and what you get in your day to day. Achievements, successes, being able to relate to other people who hold you in high esteem, know how to help them, do them favors, and receive them. And from time to time, enjoy leisure time. If we reduce everything by celebrating to celebrate, we are skipping everything else, and we make them believe that their adolescence has to go through the same paths: from party to party, and to spend money.
In short, what should prevail and children have to know how to value are the desire and the illusion of being with other children and playing with them, and not everything that by artifice decorates the moments, and then immortalizes them in photographs or videos. It is better that it is recorded in the minds of the children because they had a great time, because everything was beautiful and full of gifts and it was on the mobile. And you know that children do not need much to have fun: our own childhood corroborates it.
Photos | iStock
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