Upgrade: Indeed, as someone says in the comments and many people do it on Facebook, it is a joke post, whose intention is to show with a character taken to the extreme that many of the phrases that tell mothers and fathers scratch the absurd. Happy April Fools Day!
His name is Francisco (Francis call him) and a few days ago he contacted us to explain that everything that friendships, family members (usually mothers-in-law and sisters-in-law) and health professionals we call "outdated" is true is true. .
After so many years saying in Babies and more that is not true, that children do not get used to the arms because in reality it is what they need from the first moment, that they do not sleep a lifetime with parents because in the end they leave, and that they do not breastfeed until college, Francis He went through our writing yesterday and told us a reality that many parents did not know: the curious story of the boy who is still breastfeeding at 18 and sleeps with his parents.
He arrived on time, shy, with a big jacket and a sweater that soon took off when he saw that the air conditioning was a little high. So, until he reached his Homer Simpson shirt, with which he seemed to be more comfortable. He was sipping a bowl, so we all thought he drank mate.
The first surprise was when an Argentine companion asked him about it and he said no, that it was not mate, that it was breast milk extracted, that his mother began to make a milk bank for when he started working at four months and that between one thing and another he accumulated so much milk that the "baby" lasted for months ... then he got used to breast milk as a snack and Now every night, Maria, as her mother's name is, removes a couple of bags to leave to Francis for the next day. Quoting his own words:
It's a routine for her, really. He does it watching TV, while he has just had dinner, and although I have told him that I do not need it anymore because what I am sucking is enough, he says that he sleeps a little better, because there are still nights that the breasts give him punctures .
We sat in an area with comfortable armchairs, to be all at ease, we opened the audio recording application and began to talk about it, and about the email he sent us telling us this reality that we did not know, that sometimes forecasts are met, and in that email he told us that he had proof of not being the only one:
I know there is more like me. People take it with laughter but in reality there are many of us who arrive at the university having a tit, sleeping with our parents and wishing that mom or dad feed us even with the spoon. Now I know that there are babies who already eat alone, but in our time it was not like that, and I have serious problems eating if my mother does not give me with my Winnie The Pooh spoon.
Do you really still sleep with them?
And the answer is yes. Only a few years ago he discovered that this is now called "colecho", and he says he doesn't care about the name. He did it as a little boy because he felt he needed his mother above all things. He also ended up feeling the same for his father, so he doesn't really have a clear preference now, because he can sleep with both of them, but he assures that what his surroundings most feared was fulfilled, when they were told that it was very dangerous, that he could even die crushed, and if they slept with a month-old baby, then they could never get him out of bed:
I did not die. But they were very right, they have never been able to get me out of bed, and until the days I go to party I end up getting into bed with them to sleep. I arrive, I get in bed across, like doing an H (I would be the center stick, of course, hahaha), and so on every night. There are days when we wake up we realize that I have put a foot in my father's face, or that my mother is sleeping on the floor because she has fallen and has not noticed.
And is your mother still breastfeeding you?
One of the key questions. Shakira said long ago that he had the illusion of breastfeeding until his children went to college, probably in response to that question that many women have heard "How long are you going to give him? How do you keep up like this will you give him until he leaves to the University".
Francis is studying medicine, so it is clear that when he goes to study breastfeeding classes he will be one of the most expert, from his own experience. And of course, the prediction is fulfilled: every morning, before going to college, mama for a while while hugging her mother and he looks at her the same way he did when he was little:
I do the same as always. I look at her from down there, in love, blinking as when I was a baby, while with the little finger I make ringlets with her hair. Sometimes my eyes go backwards ... I don't know if you've ever seen a baby breastfeed, but it's very common, and mothers freak out a lot. My mother still laughs when I do.
A colleague asks him if he does not hurt him with his teeth, or if he does not prick him with his mustache and beard, to which he replies that with his teeth no, that he hardly does not… that when he was a baby if he took a bite, and now he still does it sometimes because a wisdom tooth is coming out. But every time he does less because his mother says no, very serious, while arguing that he hurts and that if he bites him he will pupate. On the mustache and beard, after a few seconds thinking he says it is difficult, because she wears teat cups. Apparently, he has sublingual frenulum since birth and still hurts when breastfeeding because he has not managed to correct the grip, and at that time there was very little help with breastfeeding.
And at night also breasts ?, I ask:
No, my mother has told me that at night the tetis are sleepy, and that they go to sleep because they are tired. Telling me a story related to the subject helps me a lot, in fact. After brushing my teeth he explains it to me ... although I often read it to myself. In two minutes, in fact, I'm done. Total, there are 14 pages in full color, with lots of drawing and little lyrics.
But this is not all, as we have told you, he is also drinking milk from his mother in a few moments, in his mate bowl. Just make another chupadita just before telling us that he left the diaper three years ago.
Sphincter control ...
When at three years old the family saw that Francis was still wearing a diaper, a lot of well-intentioned advice and recommendations began to arrive, and among them he highlighted one: "As long as you don't take the diaper off, you're going to have it in the school by pooping on it." And as if each of the sentences were a premonition, the omen was fulfilled.
Francis left the diaper with 15 years, a little forced already by his "professors", who considered that he was a little late with the subject, tired of having to continue having spare wipes and diapers in class:
They told me that I was out of place, that I no longer touched that. That it didn't seem very normal to have to change every day in class. So my mother finally took action on the matter. That summer he left me in balls around the house and when I first saw my pee and my poops, in the middle of the hall, I realized that I had done that, and that perhaps it was better not to do it on me.
A walk in the park…
After that talk we went for a walk around the office, and there we saw that Francis moved like a fish in the water in the park, with other children:
They also told us that since my parents always played with me, I would not know how to play without them. But it is not true. Here you see me in a park with other children and nothing happens, right?
What I did not expect is that we realized that seconds later I was writing WhatsApp to his mother and father to come with him because he was tired and had to go home on foot ... "Bring the backpack, mom", we read in his mobile. "Ergonomics," he added.
