Colecho is a word that is heard a lot lately that comes to encompass all those situations in which a baby or child sleeps in the same place (say bed or mattress) as their parents.
It is a practice of those "lifelong", which is still practiced in many cultures, but in the West has been almost obsolete by decreasing fertility and increasing the resources of each family.
In other words, he often slept with the children because they simply did not fit anywhere else. However, now they do fit and despite this many families, including mine, are choosing to carry out this practice.
Since I've been doing it for more than three years now, I consider myself qualified to reflect on the colecho And give my vision. I will do.
The word colecho does not exist
True, it is an invented term adapted from the English term co-sleeping. On some occasion I have received this argument as an "attack" on the colleague, that is, how is something whose word to name it going to be good or normal?
The truth is that the defense is very simple. I give my children submachine gun kisses (surely you all know what I mean) and yet that action does not have a verb that defines it. Does that make kissing that way a bad thing?
It is already taking the SAR to accept the term colecho, as it is something that is surely done before Christ and continues to be done, as I say, in many parts of the world.
Colecho and sudden death
There are studies that say that colecho decreases the risk of sudden death. Sudden death occurs when a baby performs apnea (stops breathing momentarily) and for whatever reason does not breathe again (does not "jump" the mechanism that causes breathing when oxygen is missing from the brain). The more apnea a baby makes, the more likely he will theoretically suffer from sudden death.
It is said that when a baby sleeps next to an adult it tends to mimic the breathing he hears and the apneas disappear.
This has been proven with premature children whose parents do the kangaroo method. While in the incubator the stress level is much higher than next to the body of his mother and in the same way, in the incubator they perform several apneas a day while when they are in skin-to-skin contact with their mother (or father) the apneas disappear.
But (there is always a but), there are also studies that say that colecho increases the risk of sudden death. Already, I also think the same: to be clarified at once. In any case, it does not affect me too much because as a father I have long since stopped reading all kinds of studies related to colecho (I read them as a professional), because whatever they say, I will continue doing it (and because I still think that having less apneas, there is less risk of SIDS).
If you put him in bed then he won't want to leave
I agree. If you let a child sleep in your bed, you will probably not want to sleep in yours, simply because it will be a change in your life (and the changes do not make anyone feel good) and because in the other bed they will not even be mom or dad
Personally I have no problem in this regard. I know that one day they will want to leave on our side, so, for my part, let them go whenever they want. Although I confess that I will miss them.
Children need their space
I also agree. Children need to have a place to play, a place to sleep and a place to go to disconnect or do whatever they want.
Children have to have their room and their bed. Mine have it and it is their room, the difference is that they will use it the day they really need it, or what is the same, the day they want to go to it.
In the world there are two types of animal species, those that as soon as they are born have to wake up for food and for survival (those that are born already walking and with a minimum capacity to flee from predators) and those that at birth depend exclusively of their caregivers for everything (and they cry and complain when they are left alone because their instinct tells them that they are in danger).
I have the feeling that human babies belong to that second group that needs its close caregiver since at night, when they feel alone, they cry.
Do you need your own space? Yes, but not when they are still babies, even at two years, but when they no longer feel any danger and can sleep peacefully in their bed.
In addition, I do not understand the importance of sleeping alone, if when we reach adults and live as a couple we sleep together.
Will it be more dependent?
There seems to be an unwritten rule that says that the more hours a child is with his mother (or father), the more dependent he will be on her. The colecho, as it assumes several hours of the night in which the child does not learn to be alone, because he is accompanied, is seen as a "dependent".
The truth is that the observation and studies conducted with children who spend a lot of time with their parents come to prove precisely the opposite. Those children who spend more time with their parents are, on average, emotionally more stable and have more ability to play and be alone without the help of their parents since they know that at the time they need it they can count on it.
Ideally, independence and autonomy come alone, fruit of learning with others and not imposed, fruit of learning alone.
A few days ago we talked about it at the entrance of Punset and a while ago I talked about independence giving examples.
Anyway, there are more reasons and more points to reflect on the colecho, but they have little foundation, little sense or I have not really fallen into them.
The important thing after all is to be clear that the colecho is a valid option and that each couple has to have the right to be able to choose how to sleep at home, which is what their family and privacy are for.
In my house we collect, basically, because we like it.
Photos | Flickr (Karen Sheets), Flickr (karindalziel) On Babies and more | Entrances of Being a Dad, Sleeping with children: good or bad ?, Colecho and sudden death according to Pediatric associations, Sleeping with children up to 5 years
