Unfortunately, adults are not, however much we want, perfect. We have a very strong ego that claims its space and wants to impose itself, we sin of pride and we are sometimes unable to dialogue or reach agreements with those who think differently. Rarely, when we discuss with a friend, we are free to have also made our own mistakes but we have a hard time recognizing it.
We have all lost a good friend because of a misunderstanding that we did not know how to redirect and let a person we loved, even if we had argued or hurt us, get away from us forever.
We continue, although we strive to improve, creating differences and getting into disputes that end with an irreconcilable confrontation or with a distance and coldness. It's a shame, we can improve, but above all we must learn that those adult problems do not project in children.
Adult conflicts
When we have had a good relationship with someone or share, for example, meetings at the door of the school or of some social group, our children approach and become friends. Then, if a conflict that adults don't know how to solve, we tend to project those problems among adults in children. And they are left without a friend with whom they had shared very good times.
We should know that in front of children it is not convenient to speak ill of anyone or to convey negative judgments, although sometimes, inevitably, we want to protect them and move them away from people who have harmed or disappointed us.
On the contrary, the best example we can offer our children is to show them that we do not get carried away by anger, ego or anger, that we are able to approach again the friend who has disappointed us by explaining, without reproaches or bad manners. , which hurt us, claiming our space, but from an open attitude towards the other's reasons.
Children's conflicts
Even if the dispute began with a discussion among the children, we take sides, preventing them from being, naturally, with their innocence and their lack of resentment, who resolve the conflicts themselves and get closer again.
I guess it's very complicated, we all hurt our children and we want to protect them so that nothing damages them, but when we prevent themselves from limiting their disagreements and recover their relationship with their friends, although adults are unable to do so, we are not doing them a favor.
If we are not able to dialogue, and whenever we can value what the relationship offered children positively, it is better to let them find their way, reinforcing their self-esteem but also not encouraging them to create owners of all reason. Except in cases of aggression or obvious abuse, it is usually good to give them a margin of confidence.
If they want to be together, from conscious and attentive observation, it is preferable to let them rebuild their relationship without impeding it strictly, but giving them tools to detect if the problem was punctual or is really a destructive or harmful relationship.
Of course, we should not allow bullying, or that our children take a submissive attitude to the aggressions, but let them resolve their personal conflicts so that they learn not to make the same type of mistakes that adults weigh so much on us.
It is one of the occasions when children tend to be wiser, more humble and more positive than we are. They forgive and move on, and are able to overcome difficulties without letting a conflict end their friendship. Isn't it worth learning not to project the problems of adults in children?
