Dream e imagine what our lives will be like when we have our baby It is something that many women usually do during pregnancy, while we wait for their arrival. What did you imagine your life would be like before you were a mother? Has everything you planned or planned to be done?
The reality is that although we make many plans, things don't always turn out that way. A mother shares in a reflection the things he said he would do and did not fulfill, leaving us the most important message: if your baby is happy, everything is fine.
There is a very popular phrase that says "If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans." This phrase basically means that we We can make and organize many plans with total security, but in real life or at the time of starting to execute them, there is a possibility that they are not fulfilled.
In Babies and more Letter to me before being a mother: everything will be fine If I have learned something with motherhood, there is nothing safe or written. This may actually apply to any situation in life in general, but when it comes to parenting and childcare, many times we can raise expectations that, when the time comes, we will not meet.
For example, we can say that we will never allow our baby to use a pacifier, but when it turns out that this is the only thing that manages to calm our baby and allows us to have a moment of rest, we end up changing my mind.
But many times, changing your mind, or in some cases, "having to give in" can make some mothers feel they have failed or are not doing things as they should. This should not be so, and an anonymous mother sums it up perfectly, in a reflection written six months after delivery.
Goodbye mom I thought it would be
This is the title that the mother has given to her reflection, which she has written after six months of having had her baby, and in which she realizes all the things she did not do as she had thought, but He has understood that things can change and that does not mean that he is a bad mother:
Goodbye to the mom I thought I would be (six months pp) from r / beyondthebump
I thought I would have a strictly organic and vegan diet while I was pregnant.
I ate meat again, ate whole bags of fried foods and made urgent outings in the early morning to buy me a refreshing and sugary drink.
I thought I would have a fit pregnancy.
I did not exercise during the 39 weeks and I thought that walking during the last week would make a difference during childbirth.
I thought I would resist with nitrous oxide and reject the epidural.
I accepted the epidural as soon as it was offered.
I thought it would be good to breastfeed immediately.
I extracted milk and fed with a bottle during the first two months because deciphering breastfeeding seemed very difficult at the beginning.
I thought I would wear cloth diapers.
We use disposables.
I thought that being a mom who stays at home, my home would always be clean.
My laundry room has almost all our clothes clean, but none are folded. Good luck trying to find a pair of socks on that mountain of washed clothes.
I thought I would always make an effort to look pretty for my husband.
My usual outfit is a flannel pajamas, no bra and a shirt with spots of milk or drool. Now there is an acceptable amount of slime before I change my clothes. My cabella is that "I didn't see myself in the mirror when doing it" queue. He tells me that I look beautiful anyway.
I thought that I would do everything "right" and following "the recommendations" and that I would never make colecho.
My daughter sleeps in our bed because it is the only way we don't wake up six times a night.
I thought I would always make homemade food.
Eat Gerber pots.
I thought I'd find other moms friends.
I currently have the least amount of friends I have had at any time in my life.
I thought I wouldn't need my family's help.
I called him crying to my mother at four weeks asking for help.
I'm not the mom I thought it would be, but I stopped evaluating myself under that standard.
I have a happy baby of six months and that is now the standard under which I judge myself as a mother. Not how I get there, or what we eat, or the clothes I wear, or my body, or the way we sleep.
The anonymous reflection, which was published in Reddit, has hundreds of comments from other people who not only recognize that feeling of planning things and that are otherwise, but applaud that that mother has understood what is really important: that her baby is well and happy.
Let's not be so hard and remember what is really important
Sometimes, mothers can be very hard on ourselves, for several reasons. The first, for the plans we make ahead of time, based on the capabilities or facilities that we believe that we will have at the moment we finally have our baby.
The second, because of the ridiculous and exaggerated expectations that society and social networks impose on mothers, making us feel insecure, depressed, stressed and even triggering stronger feelings, such as depression or anxiety about not living up to it.
But also, there is something else that greatly influences those judgments we make about ourselves: comparison. The to see how other mothers do things and feel that we too "should" do them and that instead, we are not able, it can make motherhood feel heavier and harder than it really is. We are all extraordinary, and we should never doubt that.
The best thing we can do as moms, is to understand that we cannot always with all alone, that we need help and that things will not work exactly as we think, simply because this is real life and motherhood is usually unpredictable.
In Babies and more, the mother I thought I would be and the mother that I amLet's keep what we do well, let's keep working on being good mothers, let's make the necessary effort without falling into demands that harm us or allow us to enjoy our motherhood and remember the most important thing: if our baby is happy and healthy, we are doing a great job.
Photos | Unsplash
Via | Parents
