If I had a daughter and at fifteen she told me that she is pregnant, I would feel guilty for not being able to teach her better, for not having succeeded in being responsible for her decisions and her body and, as guilty, I would give her support in her decisions future.
But you shouldn't talk about me, what would I care about at that moment? I should talk about my daughter and try to understand her, something that is apparently a pending issue today. This is demonstrated by Georgia Hageman, a 15-year-old teenager, who has written a letter with the intention of helping everyone in the same situation and, incidentally, helping to understand what she is living. A very exciting letter, but bitter at the same time, which you can read below.
Who is Georgia Hageman
Before leaving you with the letter, and for you to put yourself in a situation, I tell you who she is. Georgia lives at home with her parents, Rob and Shelly, and with her two younger brothers. Last November he learned that I was pregnant.
He dropped out of high school and left his friends to begin the follow-up in the Teen Parent Unit. She no longer maintains a relationship with the father of the baby and at 30 weeks had to be admitted due to the threat of premature delivery.
She has not had it easy, but she has the absolute support of her parents and with 35 weeks of pregnancy she wrote this letter, intended to explain her feelings and feelings to help all those girls who are living something similar and who do not have, perhaps, The same support.
Letter from a pregnant teenager
Sometimes I look in the mirror and I would like to see the body and gut of a normal teenage girl. That the clothes did not have three sizes of more. A face that was not swollen and eyes that were not marked with dark circles due to lack of sleep. I would like not to have to endure a back in constant pain, feeling nauseous all day, with the need to urinate every five minutes, or fight to keep food inside and breathe without inflating, just sitting watching TV.Sometimes I wish I could open the pantry, take a slice of ham, put it in some bread and drown it in mayonnaise. Sometimes I want to be a normal 15-year-old girl, still learning to be responsible for myself, and not for two people. I miss being able to sleep on my stomach, not to worry about what I am eating, in case I am going to put my son in danger. I miss being in class, the sound of the students in the chat. I miss wearing a uniform, black shoes, I miss having to get up at 6:00 in the morning, prepare my backpack, take the bus with my friends and gossip.
I miss the teachers. I miss the students. I miss homework. I miss being a teenager. I made the decision to grow up too fast, but I thought it was fine, because everyone was doing it.
I did what the health teacher told me to do. I was with someone I loved more than words can explain; I spent every minute I could with him. We share a connection like I never had with someone. We took a step towards the unknown, and that was the day my life changed forever.
I got used to the looks, the whispers and the looks of disgust. And to think that there was a time when I would have been the person who looking at a girl with a mommy's belly would think: "Oh my God ... He must have a very hard life."
No one can ever understand what a teenage mother goes through until you go through it. It is so easy to say that I have ruined my life. It is easy to say that my son is going to have an unstable life, that I am going to lose all my friends, that I am going to end up working in Countdown, that I am going to be a useless mother who sends her son to school without shoes or without lunch, because I'm too busy on Facebook and complaining about makeup.
Being a teenage mother you are still a teenager, but you are forced to grow. It is a natural instinct. It's hard to grow so fast; This is the stage where we should be nervous about studying math books, eating healthy, because you want a dress that reveals a little leg to fit you. But instead, I and other mothers think that we have to face something they tell us is the most painful thing a woman can experience, we are studying birthing books and learning what a baby needs. We are eating healthy, because there seems to be an endless list of foods that can put our children in danger and possibly lead them to a future with problems and difficulties, or no future at all. We are wearing clothes that cover the body because we feel insecure with our bright purple stretch marks and swollen body parts.
Most days it would be much easier to give up, but the truth is that there is another human being inside you and you are his mommy. That person who will need you at 2 o'clock in the morning, when he needs a diaper change, the person who will need pampering and affection, who will look you in the eye waiting for you to make him feel that everything is going to Go well.
It doesn't matter if your world is falling apart and you feel like every day that passes is getting worse. There is a life that relies on you, and no matter who looks, what you judge, or what you say, the fact is that you are going to stand firm with this child. That is the success.
I miss my old life sometimes, but my role in this world has changed, and that's fine. It's not about me anymore; This is my precious baby with whom I will meet in a few weeks.
When I need to change, I will be there. When I need food, I will be there. When I play his first football game, I will be there. When a certificate arrives to be a star, I will be there. When I need a hug, I'll be there. As difficult as this tour has been, Mason is the reason I have been living for the past nine months. He is the person for whom I have been strong and for which I have fought, and I will continue to do so. My age doesn't matter anymore. He needs me and that is what matters.
The next time they are going to judge someone about their age and the situation, I can say 100% sure that they already know what they are losing and know that their life will never be the same as theirs. It is not necessary to remind you. They need encouragement to look to the future. Look at the positive aspects of life. In the experiences they have left to live, there are so many things that happen to us that break our hearts and leave us feeling empty or make us cry with joy! Love yourself, love life and love what you are doing, because you are the only person who can make me count. Don't let glances and whispers win, prove they are wrong.
Yes, I know it says nothing that we don't know, but in that situation the easiest thing is to feel guilty, feel exposed and lose confidence in yourself, letting criticism go deep. Sometimes they need to remind us that our life is just ours and that our decisions have to be made, first, taking into account our well-being and that of our closest beings. We cannot act thinking of pleasing third parties and, above all, we cannot act thinking of pleasing everyone, because it is impossible. Let us do what we always, always, there will be those who find a reason to criticize. This is how society usually works: people need to find reasons to despise or ignore the rest to feel this way superior and better. Instead of seeing how they can improve, they are dedicated to seeing how to make the rest worse. Sad. Pathetic.
That this lesson is given by a 15-year-old girl at such a vulnerable moment, she says a lot about her and gives her thinking. She says so, she would rather not be in the situation she is in, because she misses doing all the things that a teenager should do, but she is in the situation she is, it is no longer worth looking back, but only forward, and his last words say it all: "Love yourself, love life and love what you are doing, because you are the only person who can make me count. Don't let the looks and whispers win, prove they are wrong. " Bravo.
