It is not that I went around the world announcing with hype and saucer that I did not want to have more children and that I was going to have a vasectomy, but announcing the date of the intervention and being on leave for a few days for this reason makes coworkers, relatives and others end up learning about the issue. An operation that responds to a well thought out decision for which I received, to my surprise, some misunderstanding.
I explain myself, as many of you will know I have three children and I am happily married. When my third child was born I was relatively young, because I was 33 years old (relatively young if I compare myself to the rest of Spanish men today), but I already knew that I didn't want to have any more children, so I decided to end my reproductive life It is not that I asked for an opinion, but I found it funny that many people (I say, at work, in family, friends, etc.) told me the same thing: Have a vasectomy? And if you separate from your wife?
But, I'm not going to separate from my wife
To which I replied: "Well, I have no intention of separating from my wife." So since I had no intention of doing so and with her I already had three beautiful children, I didn't see any reason that would make me rethink the decision. Also, if with the rest of the decisions I make every day I don't consider the possibility of a separation, why would I do it in this regard? We bought an apartment in his day thinking about living together, not thinking about being together for a while and maybe later separating. We bought the car thinking about the family unit. A car for everyone.
Perhaps, if I had thought that maybe one day I was going to separate from her we could have bought two cars, one for each one, because of the fact that if one day we separated each one has their own. But no, I do everything thinking that my life will always be by your side. If this is not the case, once the decision has been taken, the appropriate measures will be taken, right?
Do you have to have children with all couples?
Already, you will tell me that of "but if you separate, you will not be able to decide to be fertile again", and it is true, I will not have that option, but I will have others, such as adopting a baby, opting for a semen donor or the one that more convinces me: do absolutely nothing. Because let's see, I ask, is it necessary to have children with all couples?
I see many new couples, previously separated and with previous children, who once get together have a baby, as if it were confirmation that that couple will remain together for a long time. A new baby with a new partner that adds to the children you already have with your ex-wife and who join those that your new partner had, perhaps, with her ex-husband. And it is not that it seems to me good, nor bad, it is that there are also many new couples who already have children who decide not to have more.
Well, I'm one of those. If one day I separated from my wife and ended up with another woman I would not have any more children. First because, of course, in case of vasectomy you will tell me how you conceive them, and second because, even if there was no sterilization, I have three. I already have three! I separate myself from my wife and I still have three children To those I love madly and adore. Am I not going to remain his father? Will I not have to continue to work as a father and will not have to continue paying for their basic needs?
For that, I will have three children and, really, little or no desire to have more, unless I play the lottery or look for a woman with a current account as healthy. And even if that were the case, I would think about it long before I had another child because I love children, but I have already had three babies and I already opted to turn the page of the time of nighttime crying, caquitas at all hours and walks in arms. Now I enjoy them in another way, with another kind of relationship, and being a father again would take me back to the past, to a stage that I already closed.
So if I separated from my wife, which as I said I have no intention, the one that arrived (if another arrives) would do so with the clear intention of not expecting to have any children with me. That would be the only precondition.
Why do I count this?
If you are wondering, what is possible, I explain it to you. Some time ago I talked about how many children you have to have. When we had one, everything was fine. The normal. Then we decided to go for a second and there was already someone who told us something like "two?", As surprised to want to have more than one child, as if the logical thing today is to have only one. Having two children, they told us that "you have already done the job", as if you were already closing the reproductive cycle. Many even suggested buying a dog to be already the perfect family.
All this without bad intention on the part of the people, I understand, but I found it curious because I do not tell anyone the children they have or not to have. Then the third pregnancy arrived and that was already apotheosis, that if we were crazy, that how brave, that where we go with three, that if we were going for the girl. The phenomenon that was unleashed in the environment seemed so curious after each new pregnancy or after each child that seemed worthy of mention.
Well, with the vasectomy I felt the same. It seemed strange to me, because of course, if I already have three, it is logical that they say "no more", but then you say that you have definitely decided not to do it anymore, and they tell you that "what if you separate and join with another?" . I understand then that the socially acceptable thing is to have one or two children with a partner, and if you go with another, have at least one. This is what I have captured at least from my experiences. How do you see it?
