On several occasions we have talked about the most common fears during pregnancy, focusing on women, but what about them? What worries men, future parents? Obviously, it is not the same to take the baby inside and have to face the moment of delivery than to live it as a spectator (even if it is a very involved spectator).
Therefore, the fears of parents are not going to be exactly the same as those of their partners, although they do coincide on occasions and that is that there are things that will always always worry us, from the moment we are going to have a child. These are the seven most common fears of the future dad.
The baby's health status. Neither the father nor the mother can avoid thinking if the child will be well, during pregnancy and at birth. Will you miss a finger? It is the typical question that many parents usually ask themselves and not even the advance in ultrasound technology manages to dispel this fear. Because, in addition, we imagine that there may be many health issues not detected in the reviews. But, for your peace of mind, what you can do is go to the reviews with your partner, do not leave her alone at this time and so you will have the same information as her and you will also be “getting closer” to the baby, knowing him even before birth .
Harm the woman or the baby during sexual intercourse. It is one of the consultations that we do most and this concern can cause the father's sexual desire to be altered during pregnancy. But, calm down, because the baby is well protected in the amniotic sac behind the cervix and probably the only thing you notice is some quite funny agitation and movement. Regarding women, what you need to try is to look for the most comfortable positions, in which the belly does not suffer pressure and the woman does not feel discomfort.
The moment of delivery. Can i help Will everything go well? Will I pass out? These are some questions that future parents ask themselves at the crucial moment of their child's birth. Obviously, they will not live like their wives, but they are also worried about the pain they may feel in those moments. What you can do to mitigate that fear is to go with her to childbirth preparation classes and learn what you can do to help her at birth.
Move to background. It is a very common feeling especially for first-time parents, when the "exclusivity" of the couple is lost and the family is increased. There is a kind of "jealousy" because the attention, of course, will not fall on oneself. But soon you will notice that the same thing happens to you too: your wife, your son or daughter, is no longer alone, and paying that new attention does not mean that we have disappeared for our partner or that she disappears. You have to try to make love multiply (not divide) and it is normal at first, with the newborn, to feel somewhat overwhelmed, but you have to take time and take care of the relationship.
Economic issues. It is not that mothers are not worried about the monetary issue, but when they expand the family, other fears are presented in the short term. The arrival of a child means an increase in expenses and in times like the ones we are living we have to plan well. But remember that the basics for the child do not cost so much and we can also turn to the help of family and friends, useful gifts and to give us certain childcare items to save a good pinch.
Not knowing how to take care of the baby, which comes without instruction book. Being a child has always seemed very simple, but we never ask our parents. Now, let's get to the other side. Can I take care of my son? These are some of the concerns of future parents in this regard. And although there are indeed no instructions or "methods", we will have to err, fall and get up on many occasions. Now, you can do some things not to release your facet of father completely "blank." Find information about the newborn and attend the childbirth preparation courses with your wife to get the basics of baby care. Go also to the pediatrician in his revisions and ask him all the doubts that have arisen. You will soon realize that, with practice, it will not be difficult to become an expert in changing diapers or bathing the baby.
Not knowing how to educate the child. As in the previous case, we have no instructions to "take care of the mind" of our children, to educate them. Will I be a good father? It is likely that many parents will not consider it until the "problems" begin to arise, once the child is growing, but some already look more long term because they want, in a way, to have everything "controlled." But remember that sometimes it is as simple as being respectful to them, teach them to be, and teach them to be good people and be happy, to enjoy their childhood, in a climate of trust, dialogue and love, without giving up certain rules and limits. We will also be wrong on many occasions, we are not perfect, but neither can we pretend to be and carry the weight of the world on our shoulders. The problems of adolescence will still take time to arrive ...
Do you, future parents, do you feel identified with these fears? And moms, do you think they match what your partners felt? Did they tell you about their fears or do you think they were very calm?
Surely there are many variants and other personal concerns that we have not collected, but here we have told you what are the main fears of future parents. And although with the arrival of the baby many of these fears disappear and others are relativized, surely we will continue to have other doubts and other fears throughout their lives. But how could we not have them if the children become a part of us forever?
Photos | iStock
In Babies and more | The fears of the future dad, The arrival of the first child: a revolution, The sexual desire of the father during pregnancy, Sex during pregnancy quarter to quarter
