Now you are dad. Now things will change: your partner, your life ... But it doesn't have to be negative, you'll see. Take care of your partner, your child and yourself. Everything will be fine.
Dear Daddy,
Oh, “dad”… Yesterday you were Juan, or Pedro or Jorge, and now, now you are “dad”. As much as we imagine what it will be like to have a tiny life in our arms, in our house, the reality is always more: more love than you could imagine feeling, more tenderness, more need to protect ... and more fatigue, more sleep than you one could believe, right?
The good news is that you will survive, perhaps with some more cane (nothing happens, now you can say that you are an interesting mature), it is possible that with the back a little less straight and with a muscular tone in the arms that already wanted them Rock ... but you will survive.
Changes are coming
Things are going to change (Surely they have already changed) and that may make you wobble at times. The first thing I want to tell you is to take it easy, be calm: you are not the only one, paternity is a process that catches the majority of parents in smaller cloths.
The beauty of all this is that you have no idea that you have no idea: your partner is probably the same as you, so the best thing you can do is share, the good and the least good, of this whole process.
Get involved, dad
Yes, your relationship has changed: you don't have time to go in and out as before, there are no more weekends to sleep until the many and decide, in bed, what to do during the day ... Oh, what times! Now the child occupies almost everything, space and time ... especially that of mom (or not, that couples and mothers and fathers are of all kinds, but I speak in general, of what I usually see in consultation).
In Babies and more For Dad, on his first Father’s DayMotherhood is something really absorbent, very 24 hours, 7 days a week, but ... just like you, isn't it? Mom may have the breasts to feed the baby, but you have two hands and one body and one heart to do the two thousand nine hundred and fifty-five more things a baby needs, right?
I'm not saying it's your case, Dad, but try not to run away, share (and I say "share and not" help ", because nobody here helps anyone, the little one is both) caring for the baby, for him, for her and for you: raising a child in an implied way will provide you with some of the happiest moments of your life, and you won't want to miss them.
It may seem like a bland task to change diapers, but it is not just clean and clean a small culete, it is that while you do it you are looking at the face (in addition to other parts, of course) to your son, you are talking, smile, grab your hand ... and throw away the cream, and the dirty diaper and stain everything, and fill your hand with poop and everything is a disaster, but it's your little mess, and it can even be fun.
Involving yourself in the care of your child is the best decision, moreover, it should not be a decision, because it is what it should be.
And from the other side, from the mother's, I tell you: you can't imagine what it is for your partner see you with the baby in your arms. You were his boy, his friend, his partner ... but now you are also the father of that little one who is pure love, and seeing you together makes the tenderness overflow.
Support your partner: the key is to be a team
It is possible that she is now somewhat overflowed: hormones, physical change, tiredness ... her role is not easy, really. So you, who love her, who want her to be well, become her supporter, he needs you.
In Babies and more Dad, your children will follow your example: love and respect your partner There is a maximum that I always explain in consultation: if your partner is well, you are more likely to be well too. Sharing the tasks and occupations, sharing responsibility, will make stress and tiredness spread and that will make it easier for you to find spaces where you can be, again, a couple.
Because yes, I totally agree with you: the couple should not leave. I always recommend having at least one date for a couple of two hours a week, a place to be again Juan and Sandra and not dad and mom. But for that to be feasible, I insist, the tasks have to be both, don't you think?
The sex after the arrival of the baby
And the sexHow are you doing with the subject of sex? The fact that the quarantine lasts forty days is something that has been sold to us but that is not always the case. Your partner will need some time to recover physically and emotionally from pregnancy and childbirth, and you have to accompany her, respect her and love her in that process.
I remind you, dear dad, that sex is not just penetration, and that the intimacy of the couple does not necessarily go through sex with coitus. You may think that only you feel like it, it may be true that only you feel like it, but it is also possible that your partner wants but is exhausted, it is possible that he wants you but does not even consider penetration ...
For many women the idea of having penetration again gives them panic or respect after childbirth. It will hurt me? It will be the same? Will i enjoy Your body has undergone major changes, the hormones are making their own ... it is not easy. Do you know how you can help her meet again? Accompanying her in the process, supporting her in whatever she needs, not pressing her, reminding her of what you want and how precious she looks to you, because you think so, right?
Offer to give him a massage (believe me, carrying a baby and breastfeeding leaves your back in need of a massage), give them a shower together... There are many ways to approach sexuality without implying intercourse and this will make her comfortable, that she feels loved and, obviously, you will have a good time ... you will have a good time.
In any case, the reality is that there may be a thousand situations, so more than accepting advice on this topic, the best thing you can do is try to know the status of your partner, their needs and their desires. Do you know how? Wondering. Your sex life is that, you, of the two, so that retaking it (or continuing it) must be things of both, as a team, even if it is she who has points in ...
You have become a dad and it has changed your life. While reading this it is possible that your partner is with the baby. Look at them sneakily, watch them, isn't it the prettiest thing you've seen in your life? Now leave the phone on the table or turn off the computer and run to kiss them. Don't miss anything, dad.
Note: it is a letter, I insist, written in general. Every relationship has its characteristics and every dad has his things ... I am not pointing or punishing, I speak in general and with love.
Photos: Pixabay
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