Why we have no major problem in saying ear or grinding wheel, but we blush at the idea of teaching our son that what he has down there is a penis and both sachets, testicles? Or that what our daughter has between her legs is called vulva? Neither "toto" nor "colita". It is more important than we think let's call the genitals by name and let the children learn it like this: penis and vulva. We tell you how to do it and when is the time to start.
A well-known study conducted in the USA. in the 90s he determined that most of the preschoolers knew, and knew how to name, perfectly the parts of their body, but nevertheless to refer to the genitals they used euphemisms, affectionate motes.
Almost thirty years have passed and things have changed little ... or nothing. Instead of penis we call it pito, colita, churrillao and vulva toto, chochete, pepe ...
There is nothing wrong with using these words, which, in addition to being cute, make people laugh, but they should not be "the official name", the only one they know: children have to know that their head is called head although sometimes we call it melon , and that they have penis and vulva.
In Babies and more Nudes in front of children: is there an age limit for them to see us without clothes?How and when to show the name of their genitals to children?
Like everything related to affective-sexual education, the answer to when to do it is simple: almost, almost since birth.
We must not wait for our little one to be four or five years old, or to speak, because ... with her head, her little hands or her mouth we don't wait so long, right? Why do it with the genitals?
In the same way that we play "palms-palms" and when we take our hands we talk about them, with that same naturalness, we can take advantage of everyday moments to point out the real name of the parts of your body, including, of course, the genitals.
Life with a baby provides us with countless moments in which we can name your genitals throughout the day in a natural, not forced way, for example: by changing your diaper (something that happens about two thousand times a day, or so it seems, Right?), When we bathe ...
One idea: "Honey, I'm going to change your diaper. And now we're going to clean your penis, and look at those testicles, they're full of pet!"
If we use his real name from the beginning he will be the one to learn, and as such they will use it with all naturalness, without the “strange” burden that some adults put on him: if they integrate it for them it will not be very different from saying ear or navel.
But it gives embarrassed call them penis and vulva
Many parents panic at the idea of their son screaming in the middle of the supermarket that his penis itches (which he will probably do, because that's how the kids are, right?).
But actually, where is the problem? Don't we go through the same shame as if it screams that itches the churrilla or the toto?
If our little one talks about her genitals in public, we should not scold or ridicule her, on the contrary: let's take advantage of the situation to convey some ideas about concepts like intimacy, modesty ...
Uncensored (because then you will understand that something bad happens), without abroncarle, we will explain that it is great to talk about your body, but that in public places it is better that you tell us without shouting. We must convey the idea that it's about something personal, intimate.
And this is great and necessary, because with this we work on the idea that the genitals, their penis or their vulva, are private, a very important thing to protect them from abuse, as I will comment a little later.
Why it is important to call things by name
Using the real name of tooooodas the parts of your body, including the genitals, is truly something positive for the development of our son:
- It helps to develop a positive body image.
- In the long run it favors a better self esteem (they gain in self-confidence by knowing and accepting their body)
- It favors a transition to more fluid puberty: if you know your body you can talk about it, comment on your changes, ask, adjust expectations ...
In addition to this, how it directly affects them, knowing their body, calling it by name, helps us to talk about limits and respect not only towards themselves, but also towards others ... now that they are children, and when they are adults. And this is sooo important ...
In Babies and more How to protect your child from sexual abuse: warning signs and prevention guidelinesAnd finally, an environment in which we call things by name is an environment in which things are talked about, true? Families that call things by name are families in which communication with children is fluid and quality, with the benefits that this entails.
Prevention of sexual abuse
Contrary to what we can think, precisely the fact of using the correct name of the genitals is something tremendously positive for the prevention of abuse and, in the event that something happened, to detect it early.
If the child knows the name of the genitals, if he knows he can talk about it naturally, he will see that area as something positive, as another part of his body, not as something negative or ashamed.
This positive attitude will make you more likely to understand concepts such as privacy, body limits, etc. Taboos only transmit darkness, secrecy, and that is exactly what we want to avoid.
If we name his genitals with the real name and one day the child starts calling him in another way, with euphemisms, we will know that someone other than us is talking about it. Predators do not usually use real names, they use sweetened words.
The use of “funny” names instead of the right ones conveys the idea of “lightness”, of play, to the child, so that it will be easier for a predator or pedophile to access it through the fun “Let's play, to have a fun time… ”
If the child knows the name of the genital area, in case something terrible happens, indicate exactly and precisely what happened.
It is terrible to even think about it, I know, but precisely because of this, because of the panic that parents give us to think that something like this can happen to them, we must act in the best possible way to provide them with all the resources, tools and attitudes that help avoid horror.
In Babies and more 'Kiko's rule': five tips to protect children from sexual abuse You may be ashamed, you may not know exactly what to call them ... but your children's genitals have a name, and you have already seen that it is worth using.
And if in spite of everything it still seems odd for your daughter to say vulva imagine how you should feel a grandmother 90 years I heard her say Youtube. It is a matter of perspective.
Photos: Pexels.com
