To whip a child we can think that it has no consequences, it has been done a lifetime and nothing has happened. Possibly many readers will tell us that they received them, and they are sure of their parents' love and that this behavior did not leave consequences, they have become peaceful people and do not hold a grudge. Their parents did their best and some whipping or pescozones left no mark on them, they will say. But yes, whipping has consequences.
Obviously, if we do not reject that misconduct of our parents we have the possibility of repeating it with less difficulty.
After all, they will say that a scourge is not mistreatment, it is not a beating, and it survives without apparent damage. But it is violence, and violence cannot be the measure of parents' love for their children nor is it a good way to educate by example.
There is no serious scientific contribution that provides data in favor of whipping. On the contrary, modern neurological and psychological investigations provide data in the opposite direction. Stress, fear and pain if they leave marks.
A child who receives a violent behavior from his parents internalizes that violence may be acceptable if it is exercised against someone weaker or claiming a good cause. He does not feel that he owns his body since those who trust him most add him "for his sake."
Patience and exhaustion can make a dent in us and also stress in a situation of real danger. Then that internalized violence in childhood springs from us and we repeat it as an extreme measure.
Hitting a scourge or a pescozón is hitting, and in the same way that we would not allow anyone to put our hand on us under any circumstances, our children should be taught that nobody can touch them or hit them, under any cause, even adults We have authority over them.
Hit a childInsulting him, shouting or threatening him with physical punishment or emotional abandonment is not a good example. It can help adults to get out of anger or anger, but at the cost of making them fall into the weakest.
Obedience out of fear is not obedience, it is repression. Education is born from example, understanding, patience and love, not from losing control and unloading violence in children.
In the emotional state of fear, anger and helplessness in which there is a child who suffers a scream or a scourge there is nothing that can be learned or internalized. The correct norms or behaviors that we want to instill in them, respect for others, there is no way to assimilate it if they are not being respected in their physical and moral integrity.
Sneakiness, lies, mistrust and perception of the world as a place where acts have no logical consequences, but punishments, is not the best way to educate in coexistence and trust. What a child who gets hit will do will learn not to get caught by fear, not that his wrong action self-explains himself comforted by his parents to assimilate the damage he has been able to do.
The child does not relate the punishment to the event, but to the person who attacks him. And very rarely does it succeed as a measure that changes the underlying problem, if it is not with terror to a new punishment.
In addition, physical punishment is already a crime in Spain and its intensity is not typified although it is found that a permissive society and accustomed to these behaviors cannot yet control all these events and the law is usually activated only in the most serious or flashy. However, the authorities are very clear about it.
Hitting a whip, pulling the hair, giving a fish or a pinch no longer have any legal endorsement as adequate means of correction.
The consequences of whipping On a psychological and moral level they are inevitable, and our role as parents is not to repeat the mistakes of those who educated us the best they knew, but to educate our children in the sound channeling of conflicts.
