There are several and sometimes we have talked about quality time and the amount of time. There are many people who claim a real work and family reconciliation (now!), And yet professionals continue to appear who say that nothing happens if children see little to their parents, provided that the time they are together is of quality.
In this case it is the psychologist Pilar Toledo, in a story that already has a few months, in which he explained that it is true that children have time with their parents rationed, but that it is not something too relevant because children are characterized for its ability to adapt.
I do not disagree, because it is true that children conform to what they throw (they have no other choice, they are children and depend on adults), but I will not say that I agree when he says that "It is not as important to spend a lot of time with parents as these moments are of quality".
The time you spend with the people you want should not be measured in terms of quality
Many professionals say the same thing as this psychologist, that the important thing is not the amount of time, but the quality, and I keep saying that time should not be measured in terms of quality.
Quality time is considered that in which you are with your child, playing, telling stories, talking, singing songs, communicating, etc. and quality time would be if you are doing the food, if you are cleaning, if you go out to buy, if you are watching TV while your child is playing or if you are talking on the phone and you are not attending.
However, it seems to me that the theoretical non-quality time is also a very valid time with a lot of value. There are studies that show that when it comes to assessing the real time that parents spend with their children, there are not too many differences between working mothers and non-working mothers, because the time devoted exclusively to children is practically the same.
Reading them one comes to think that it must not be so bad then the society in which we live for our children because in total, if you dedicate 29 minutes of "quality" staying at home in front of 21 minutes "of quality" if you work, the difference is absurd.
But I think that all that goes into the sack of straw minutes are also quality minutes: take the child shopping is quality time, help you put the washing machine is quality time, fill the house with water because he wants to help you scrub it is quality time, see mom make food by touching and cutting ingredients is time to Quality, having to wait a few seconds for Mom to just talk on the phone is quality time… or does she not learn something by doing all this?
The bride who invited me to sleep with her and the one who told me to leave
Leaving studies aside, that there are in favor of spending a lot of time with the children and, as you have seen, in favor of parents working, I will throw common sense, that at least it is what convinces me the most in Matters like this.
I met a girl who had a flat (it's a lie, I make it up ...) with whom I shared very good moments. We went to the movies, to dinner, we shared activities, laughs, moments and games. When night came she accompanied her to the door of her house and He always told me that we would meet again tomorrow.
I lived alone and did not understand why I was not invited to pass. One day I asked him and he said: "But if we're just going to sleep, why be together if we're not going to see each other?" The truth is that it was logical ... it was just about being together in bed with your eyes closed. At most, some hug, some caress, but little else.
This relationship is over and I met another girl who had a flat with which she also shared very good moments. We went to the movies, to dinner, we shared activities, laughs, moments and games. When night came she accompanied her to the door of her house and a few days after meeting us he invited me to spend the night with her.
At first I was surprised ("but if we are only going to sleep ..."), however I decided to stay because I did not lose anything and, although the only thing we did was sleep, from time to time some hug and some caress escaped, little more, they turned out to be very nice.
I quickly got used to it. It wasn't quality time, we didn't laugh, he didn't talk to me, we didn't look in each other's eyes, but I knew she was there and she knew that I was there and, more importantly, despite not being doing any stimulating activity, because we only slept and dreamed each one of our own dreams, neither of us felt alone.
If someone asks a child where he prefers to be, he will surely say that he prefers to spend more time with parents, even if there are studies that say he will be more sociable or smarter if his parents work.
If someone tells him that his mother or father can only play with him 29 minutes, he will surely say the same, because in the rest of the time, even if they are not doing something together, surely a kiss falls, some caress, of those that they are so grateful and, more importantly, they will not be looking at each other and playing at all hours, but They will both know that they are together and will not feel alone.
Conclusion
Short and brief: I don't know whose fault it is. Perhaps it is from work, from politicians, from schedules, from the capitalist system and even from Yoko Ono (or so Def With Two said). In the end I don't care whose fault it is. What matters to me is that our children, those children who would prefer to be with us, cannot be there and that, on top of that, it seems to pick up, the “connoisseurs” come out to tell us that this is something that does not affect them at all and that in the end it Until positive.
Photos | Schani, Rajkumar1220, Robert Whitehead
In Babies and more | More playtime with children, quality time or amount of time ?, Real Conciliation Now: another way to reconcile family and work life is possible, do we not have time for children?
