My baby is about to turn 18 months and I can assure you without fear of being wrong that the expression "when you have a child the days go by very slowly and the years (or months) very fast" is totally true.
For me, it's still that baby that fit in my forearm, although now I weigh a quintal and occupy half a bed when he sleeps with us. But there is the calendar telling me no, that it is not so baby anymore, and that I have already overcome it easily (I will not say with a note) that dreaded first year of paternity.
The truth is that, now that I look back, it has been a year full of emotions and ups and downs, which I remember with longing to see the photos, but to which I have tremendous respect, especially when I think about looking for the second.
So, taking advantage of this reflective moment, I have thought that these new parents can be useful for you. seven tips for your first year of paternity, from a parent who has just "passed" that course.
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1. Become the guardian of your nest
The title has been a bit grandiloquent, but what I mean is that, during the days, even weeks after birth, many people will want to welcome the baby. But they are also crucial days for the little boy and his mother: both need time to rest and to establish breastfeeding with peace of mind.
So your mission is dose visits and invite people to go to their homes after a reasonable time. Most will fully understand that the baby has to sleep, to breastfeed or to drink the bottle calmly. And if they don't understand it, nothing happens either.
In Babies and more35 things you were not notified before becoming a father2. You cannot breastfeed, but you can do many other things
Especially during the first weeks, breastfeeding is a challenge for the mother, who is also recovering from childbirth. So, although you can't take care of that - which means sleeping much better at night - it does there is much you can do to enjoy your baby and help the mother rest what she can.
Sleep it, sing it, change the diaper, bathe it, prepare the food, clean the house, put the washing machine ... In fact, I would say that, as far as possible, take care of everything other than breastfeeding. Think that the mother and baby's agenda is basically breastfeeding and sleeping.
3. Fatherhood is in the small details ...
Parents (and here I mean fathers and mothers) are very concerned about how we want to educate our children at the "macro" level, as economists would say. Things about the kind of education we want to give him, about food, about "screens", about how he should sleep ...
But although all that important, in the end paternity is in the small details, in things made with love, from a diaper changed with love to a relaxing bath or how you calm down when you get scared or hit. That, and not the other, It's what will mark your baby's happiness the first year.
In Babies and more Your baby needs very little to be happy: everything you will buy and just use 4 ... and in logistics
The first year of paternity is very important, and much of your survival will depend on how you manage that logistics: from the intrinsically necessary for the baby - diapers, wipes, clean clothes of the appropriate size and season, creams, shampoos, towels, sheets, blankets ... - to what is necessary for you -water, food and clean clothes, mainly.
This is where any external help you can get will be critical. In my case, the family helped me a lot, but what not, can be hired or programmed. If you can afford someone to clean the house, great, or automate the tasks you can. Amazon, for example, has an automatic diaper and wipe delivery system that will avoid the fright of changing the baby, opening the drawer, and not having a single diaper.
5. Don't get obsessed with what the pediatrician tells you ...
Our pediatrician is a charm, but also quite squared. That if I already had to sleep alone in the crib, that if it is low or high in weight, that if you do not always have it in your arms ... My recommendation here is that you pay attention to it when it is clear things of health, but others that are more than Parenting - as if you do school or not, or even when you extend breastfeeding - should be a decision more yours.
In Babies and more The 13 things I said I wouldn't do as a father, and now look at me6… not even with what you see on Instagram
Every baby is a world and they grow at completely different rates, so you better not try to compare them with the ones we see on Instagram. There are babies who speak very soon and crawl too late, and others who develop their psychomotor skills very quickly but take a little longer to say their first words. There are also swallowing babies and others that seem to feed on the air.
Equally, you don't have to become obsessed with how good other parents look on Instagram, it seems that every day they are doing something special with their children, or have bought something new, or have done this or that. Social networks only show a part of reality, so remember, the important thing is to love your baby, eat, sleep and be clean.
7. Nothing is forever
"Nothing is forever" has been my mantra during the first year of paternity. My daughter spent the first three months in three states: sucking, sleeping or crying as if there was no tomorrow. It took hours to get her to sleep by rocking her in her arms and then she woke up if the neighbor above coughed.
Suddenly, one day he stopped crying and began to fall asleep. We were happy as a movie and it seemed that the storm had passed, but again, pam! At six months it was as if he had forgotten how to sleep and woke up every hour at night. We could not believe it!
Babies evolve very fast and, although generally every month that passes, everything is easier - and you already have more practice -, they don't always take all the steps in the direction you would want.
That is why "nothing is forever" is a good guide. Because it comforts you when it seems that your baby has entered a spiral that leads to hell - because he can't cry forever, right? - and at the same time reminds you that everything can change overnight when your baby eats and sleeps A thousand wonders.
Bonus: Enjoy every moment!
And of course, whenever you can, enjoy being with your baby. Play with him, make him mimitos or, simply, contemplate it. Because the first year flies by, and immediately you will be looking at photos on your mobile and saying with a ñoña voice: how has it grown so much?
Photos | Kelly Sikkema, Freestocks, Michal Bar Haim, Katie Emslie, Nyana Stoica
