Grandparents are a fundamental support for many families in which the parents work and have difficulties to properly attend to the children. In Peques and Más we have highlighted on previous occasions their role in providing healthier food for children, or as transmitters of knowledge and experience.
But nevertheless many are also overloaded, and it shows a lot that according to the social class of the family, the older ones can enjoy the grandchildren or 'feel used' by their children. A part of grandmothers belonging to generations who dedicated themselves to raising their sons and daughters, are again active taking care of grandchildren, and although they do not protest they feel tired.
Dads and moms work for money and there are also those who feel fulfilled performing certain activities. It seems that the time when women did not have many other options to take care of the house and children is far away, but is it fair that in exchange grandmothers should give up their own activities?
When financial resources are not available to pay the costs of summer camps, special childcare services on vacations, or babysitters, it seems logical to resort to grandparents. We should not forget some details to make your work more comfortable.
Here are some tips to avoid overloading the older ones:
If they are going to take care of the children from seven in the morning until three in the afternoon let's not ask for more. It is not worth going home to eat and rest and then pick up the kids, from the time we finished our workday, the children are already our business, and the grandparents deserve a nap and a walk with their friends, or any Another activity that pleases them.
Since the overload can be physical but also psychological, it is convenient to talk to grandparents first to dispel doubts and concerns. Many times grandparents feel insecure in some specific aspect and do not dare to ask.
Situations such as 'how to answer if the child asks questions that may seem compromised to them', or what to do if your grandson tells them that he does not want to play with a child in the park, are issues that sometimes arise if older people have a chance to express them
It is logical that if the kids are with their grandparents for a long time, these are also those who educate them during this time. If the educational style of parents and grandparents differs, it is worthwhile to make clear some key points such as the handling of fights between siblings, or possible conflicts with other children. Grandparents should know that they can always phone their children to tell them about a specific problem.
When the children are going to be part of the day with the grandparents, we should also talk to them and explain the situation. They must also understand that the elderly are the absolute responsible for their care while the parents are not, therefore they are those who set the rules and limits.
We will always take into account the age and physical and psychological abilities of grandparents, with the same love for grandchildren and the same will, a newly retired person cannot play the same role as a 78-year-old grandfather
- It is very important that they receive the correct instructions on the (possible) administration of some type of medication, the restraint of children in the car restraint systems, the maximum time that children may be watching TV, and 'all' the phones to call in case of Unforeseen happen.
The rest already know how to do without directions: heal wounds, clean boogers, comfort crying and tell fantastic stories. But let's not forget to provide all the information that allows them to feel more secure.
- If the grandparents are taking care of the grandchildren they are not doing other things, since this task demands a great responsibility. That is why there are parents who to reward the effort in some way, offer some kind of benefit in return.
It is not about the mediation of 'a salary' as in the United States, since our cultural tradition accepts family care naturally. However, it doesn't hurt any grandfather or grandmother to help him clean the kitchen, bring him the children's food prepared when they leave them in the morning, or give him some tickets to the concert he wants to see.
A general reflection to keep in mind is to remember that although most grandparents can be happy to help with the care of grandchildren, we must also take into account your own needs. It's also summer for them, don't you think?
