Parents spend the first months of our children's lives wishing to hear their little voices and fill ourselves with pride and joy when they begin to say their first words. Some parents even wonder when they will start talking if they see that they take a while to do so.
Then, when they speak, there are those who come to even remember those times with humor: "so long wishing he spoke and now he does not shut up". And is that some children talk a lot, with others, they alone while playing, singing while doing things, and many parents even worry. Is it normal for them to speak alone? Is it normal for them not to shut up?
Children talking alone
Everyone speaks alone. Adults do less than children, obviously, and some less than others, but we all talk alone at some point. It usually happens when we get angry, that we are telling ourselves what annoys us about the others "because it does not go and tells me that ...!", Or when we are very concentrated doing something and we say, to put everything in its place and order, "come, focus, now this goes, then the other ...".
Children do something similar, because they they think out loud. That is, speech development and thought development go hand in hand. As they mature their intelligence, they mature in speech and, as they speak and improve language, they develop their cognition. This talk, in addition, is the essay to then talk to others.
Let's say that, with that talk alone, they are rehearsing language, rehearsing thoughts, rehearsing ways of doing things, etc. To all this it is called "egocentric speech"He speaks of a child to himself, without the need of anyone to listen to him.
Do you speak egocentric?
I know it sounds weird, I know that everything that goes with the word "egocentric" seems negative, but in this case it is not. It is just a way of defining the first speaks of children.
He self-centered speech It can be of three types:
- The repetition or ecolalia, which is when children repeat the words that others say, and even the phrases, so that they are internalized and then used in their own "speeches."
- The monologue, which is when the child speaks to himself, without the need for anyone in front (or even if there is, because he does not direct his message towards him), very typical of when they are preparing something or doing something that requires several steps ("the piece red on top, the doll is put here and now I need ... I need another doll to put it here, ... ") and that can also happen when they simply do dialogues, as if he were the sender and the receiver and that usually leaves the parents a little perplexed
- The collective monologue, which is similar to the previous one, but when it is addressed to another child or another person. Something like "I tell you my life and if you answer me well, and if not also, that I follow my own" (emm, yes, it is true, many adults also make collective monologues).
As well, this self-centered speech, the fact that they speak alone, which makes many parents think that their child is not well, it's normal, because it is not communication per se. It is not speaking to oneself and responding, as if the child had double personality, but is a "think out loud." They are small to think softly, or to think without articulating a word, so first they do it this way, to emit sounds and words, to listen to each other and, thus, to develop cognitively and develop their language and their ability to communicate after social way
Social language
He social language, or socialized language, is the one that comes after egocentric speech, or during, because in a more or less extensive interval of time, and I speak of years, both types of language overlap. Sometimes they speak in a social way, that is, addressing another person and, now, taking into account their position and their opinion, waiting for an answer, and putting themselves in the other's place to ask and say related things ("What do you Does it happen? Are you sad? Perhaps if I tickle you, I will make you smile ") and sometimes, when they are alone, they continue with their own, with their own speech, with which they continue rehearsing moments of life, dialogues and situations.
It would be a behavior similar to that of the symbolic game, in which characters who interpret, make their toys speak, disguise themselves as imaginary characters or people who know and invent dialogues or reproduce those who have already heard. With the symbolic game they rehearse life situations, with self-centered speech, they rehearse dialogues (In fact, both things are linked to the point that seems to speak of the same).
How long do they do it?
As we say, it is normal for children to speak alone and it is normal for them to do so often, while playing, while doing things, and even passing by with our minds on their things. While they are still small we can accept it as normal, but it is possible that many parents do not understand that an older child does.
Well, although egocentric speech begins very soon, and after 2-3 years, social speech begins to develop, both coexist for a long time, while the one helps to develop the other. It is considered that It is from the age of 7 when children begin to stop talking alone, or rather, social speech increases in percentage, decreasing egocentric speech, because many begin to be able to think in silence. It is estimated that by 10 years, egocentric speech represents between 20 and 60% of the comments made by a child, that is, some still speak more alone than accompanied.
But he talks a lot, he doesn't shut up or underwater
There are, in addition, they talk a lot, either alone, accompanied, singing, humming, etc. Parents do not usually worry much, but there are parents who are a little desperate for not having a moment of silence, for not being able to hear interesting news on TV or for not being able to start a conversation with other people.
Well, to the children never shut up, that is to say, we must avoid that "shut up for a while, son, that I do not hear", which we have all said once when we can no longer say that we would never say to an adult, although that does not mean that we cannot ask them to think about quietly, or speaking shorter, or explaining to them that it is better to interrupt only when there is something important to say, or when what they have to say has to do with what others are talking about (adults constantly interrupt us, it makes no sense to the children tell them that they cannot speak until others finish).
Over time, by talking more in a more social way, by talking more with others, the children learn the communicative norms by imitation. They understand that after saying something others respond or give their opinion, they learn that according to which gestures of the other it is better not to speak, they learn to explain things by synthesizing more, they learn to make agreements, to try to listen so that others also explain and also listen, and all this comes with more or less success or greater or lesser learning because, as I say, many adults suffer from these abilities, and not only do monologues like children, but they also do not realize that they are screwing up and instead of looking into each other's eyes, they shout "shut up at once", they go on and on boring even the sheep.
