There are between two and three days a year, minimum, that parents have our nerves to the surface and although it seems strange, this time it is not because of our offspring, but of adults. Those days are the Birthday, Christmas and Three Kings Day. Yes, I know that many of you are going to say that you have a hundred or two hundred left, but since we are close to Christmas we are going to keep these three. What do they have in common? Well, very simple, in all three our children receive gifts. And what about the gifts? Well, they are not always to our liking and in some cases I know I fall short, right?
Here I bring you my selection, my Top ten of the most hated toys by parents.
The slots hippos
CLACK-CLACK, CLACK, CATACLAK, ball that falls to the ground, CLACK, CLACK, jooo papaaaaaa that ball was mine CLACK, CLACK, CLACK, ball that falls and goes under the three-body sofa. CLACK, CLACK, CLACK, He fights the song because one of the brothers has moved a ball with his hand or has taken one from the other or this is moving too much. Surely whoever is lucky to have this toy will know what I mean. Insufferable.
The elephant / hippo / monkey / (put the animal that you want to be sure) ball thrower
This toy It is the Top 1 of the worst toys that can be givenIt should be reason enough to disinherit someone or at least not to speak to him again in life. This infernal apparatus can appear only as a tube launcher that normally comes disguised as an innocent animal with a cheerful face, like elephants, monkeys, some batracio of bulging eyes, etc. Of course, all this very colorful so you don't suspect that what they are giving you is a genuine Trojan horse. As if that were not enough, it may be accompanied by another toy, a great friend of the children and of the migraines of the parents, the piano, with a number of keys proportional to the paste that costs, large buttons and lots of lights to press.
Whats the game about?
The theory: you put it to work and the toy starts throwing balls to the rhythm of the music, they enter a circuit and start again. Some of them can leave the circuit, which helps to exercise the gross, fine and even medium-sized psychomotor skills when running after the colored balls to put them back into the fold.
Reality: the tube that throws 90% of the balls in a random direction with preference to areas such as: dining table with six chairs, or under the sofa or the only area of the room where there is no one who can pick up the ball and prevent Keep boating throughout the house or also, the only area of the room where the dog is and places like that.
All the exercise that your child does is the one of lifting of arm at half height, placing said limb perpendicular to the rest of the body with stretching of index finger in the same direction as the arm. In most cases they will coincide with the direction the ball has taken, which you will collect an average of 200 times so that your son continues to put it in the circuit and continue the torture. Because while all this happens, to the rhythm of one of those children's melodies of curved lyrics of no more than 7 words (so that the baby can remember them and you spend the morning in the office humming them), in the background you will hear a CLACK every time the catapult throws the ball and hits with the brake and CLACK after CLACK spends the afternoon, your son laughing like crazy and You want to kill the engineer who designed it.
And you will wonder, why don't you try it for half an hour to see its effects on adults? Well, very simple. Because at the moment, there are laws that do not allow employees to be tortured, but there are none that prevent a father from being tortured.
When is it advisable to give it away? When it is for children over 5 years of age, it is they who go for the balls "voluntarily."
Drums
We all know what a drum is for, right? It has multiple uses: It is a military instrument to mark the passage of the columns or the work that is being done, it also serves to let everyone know that we are close or to be able to enter a heavy metal group. All very adult, right?
Well then Why does everyone insist on giving drums to your children? Are we masochists? Does anyone realize that it is a natural instinct to pound things? Above we make that pounding produce sound. A drum is the Vanhalla of toys, Take out the most primitive instincts of our children, those that were recorded in our genes when we had to hunt for food by hitting it with sticks, with the natural attraction for everything that makes noise.
And it does not matter that the drum disappears, because there are drumsticks! And that's when the whole house and all its contents become a giant drum, that you didn't know that things could make so much noise until your son appears with the drum sticks.
They should sell half a dozen earplugs with these types of toys.
Furby
Furby it becomes the children's version of a gremlin, he will not eat you, but he will be touching your nose all day. This toy in 90% of cases is given by couples without children or with children who have been able to speak for many years. Because no father with children around the age of two can think of giving something like that, because he already knows what it is to have at home someone who does not shut up or underwater. But does anyone know what exactly a Furbi is? An owl with hairs, a barefoot gremlin, an alien like the one who invented it? Why don't you shut up?
Clay
My favorite toy, or as my mother called it, "that nursery that is everywhere." For me this toy is in the top 5 of the most hated and in the top 5 of what a child should have in his childhood. It's a I can't live with you but not without you. Get ready to get to meetings with a yellow plastic stick on the sole of the shoe or to throw yourself half an hour off the sole of the sports shoes.
What a dilemma to be parents! What is your Top 5?
Photos | davef3138, eliduke, mamaloco on Flickr
