An argument that is the order of the day among parents with pre-adolescent children is the convenience of having or not smartphone at this or that age... although in truth there are times that you do not even think before making that decision. A companion of my son who is already 11 has just got a second-hand terminal that his parents have given him, after hiring calls and data rates for him. They are just a couple very committed to the education of children, and they have a socio-family situation that they thought motivated the child to have a motive.
As I say, pros and cons are not always analyzed, and many times it is enough that the little “ask for that mouthpiece” so that the next day he has his brand new device on his desk, without counting on others who obtain it as a gift of Communion . In the case I comment, the parents they have taken little to realize that some indiscriminate use is being made of instant messaging, and that (despite having agreed otherwise), the smartphone has become a mini console full of games.
There are a number of limitations related to the early use of mobile phones, and a series of responsibilities that parents must assume
Do you need a smartphone? Why do they need it?
I have the feeling that I always have examples of situations in which the use of these devices is indiscriminate, and the age of its users seems inadequate (for example, I commented yesterday about other children of my son's fifth who spent the afternoon with fingers glued to the screen). So I tell you another case in which he does reflect before responding to the son: this time the child is 15 years old, and his parents for the moment have not considered buying their own mobile.
In a conversation with other parents of children in Secondary, the rest tried to argue an alleged need for a telephone, despite the fact that the boy is well integrated, and has his mechanisms to contact friends and colleagues (it is true that conversations are lost by whatsapp , as it is that the messages are usually in 90 percent emoticons, single words like 'hello' or 'hahaha' or to share videos and photos).
At one point, someone commented “what if one day he returns home and you are not there, what does he call you?” I have to tell you that I was stunned, because I think that with that age, you should know what to do in exceptional situations (even if he doesn't have a phone in his hand), how did we do at that age, right? In other words, for them to mature and have autonomy, we must believe in them, and strengthen these capacities.
My position and my experience is that the elder neither has nor will have a smartphone at the moment, in a year he will be in Secondary and I don't know what I will do; though with kids of that age who have quite limited and group movementsIt does not seem indispensable, but it is too early to say whether or not it will be mobile at 13, at 14, or at 15. What I do know is that rules will be agreed, that it will not have it at night, and that we will supervise close to exercise "cyber citizenship" through it, while educating in the maintenance of privacy.
So at what age?
There seems to be consensus that before 12 no, and here we are failing a bit, it is assumed that at 8, 9, 10, 11 there are few skills for safe use; although there will be some who do use it responsibly, and others 16 years who have participated in episodes of cyberbullying through the smartphone. What really fails is that we don't want to recognize that sometimes misuse of technology causes problems, and how important is the intimacy of oneself, such as respect for others.
But it is also that, if we are not careful, a mobile can cause poor rest at night (if we do not remove it to the child before going to sleep); as well as technological addiction; and become a victim of some fraud.
Does it seem little to us? Well then I tell you that on the Internet there are risks to which no child should be exposed, how to contact by imprudence with an adult that makes him a candidate to suffer grooming; or display inappropriate content. Another thing: take care of your child's off-line skills, excessive use of technology inhibits them.
Technology is not negative per se ... the misuse of it makes it a pernicious tool. Just see how children "hide" on your device to offend others than in theory with friends.
At what age? Do you ask me again? The one that was Defender of the Minor of the Community of Madrid, informed that never before the 13/14; There are other experts who place the limit a little higher, because maturity (not that children are immature, is that they have an appropriate development at their age, and does not include thinking about the consequences or seeing things from a global perspective) start arriving at 15. So you see, we might have to wait a little longer, the question is do we get carried away by the current or do we get out of the comfort of doing what everyone does?
If our son is going to have his smartphone, he is how old he is ...
- Let's agree rules of use with him (this mother did it by written contract, it is not necessary so much).
- The mobile is yours? but we have paid for it, the rules can include perfectly (do not worry that you do not mistreat them for that) that does not take you to class, or on the weekend, which is removed at 9:00 pm, etc.
- Set an example: when you are at home your children are more important than answering a whatsapp, do not go to bed with your phone, do not answer while you are eating ...
- The terminal must be protected against malicious viruses, and you can also establish parental control.
- Talk frequently with children on risks, positive use and possibilities of use.
- If you have to set a schedule do it without fear, if you have to ban content, do it too.
- Make it clear that others deserve respect... also over the Internet.
- And also that privacy is "sacred", as much as your room that you would not want any stranger to enter.
In conclusion you could say that It is a decision to ponder, and there are several questions we have to ask, do you need it? Are you prepared to make responsible use? Would the decision that the child have his own mobile phone be well justified? Are we willing to guide in its use? And to intervene if there are problems? These (and perhaps other) questions would be the ones that would give us the answer, and not the demand of the boy or girl, who on the other hand will not have any real lack if he must wait a bit before having his smartphone. And what if they tell us that one in two children under 18 already have a smartphone?
Images | Richard Leeming
In Peques and More | Smartphones and tablets are not babysitters for young children: Japanese pediatricians recommend avoiding prolonged use, The use of smartphones in adolescents is growing, and the need to know the risks in security and privacy is emphasized, A study suggests recording the age of children who buy a mobile phone
