WHY SCREAMING DOES NOT HELP EDUCATE CHILDREN

Educating our children requires patience, empathy, active listening and communication. We have spoken on several occasions that punishment, threats, blackmail and whipping are not educational methods, and also seriously harm the child. But what about the screams?

Unfortunately, there are still many people who do not conceive education without shouting, because they do not know that the screams leave deep traces in the child's personality and affect their behavior. Although at any given time we can all lose our nerves, it is important to be aware that this is not the way to educate with respect and empathy.

We explain why screams don't serve to educate children, and the negative consequences they carry.

Shouting blocks the child's brain and prevents him from learning

We can believe that screaming will get our children to listen to us more carefully, or we may think that it is the way to show them our authority. But the truth is that Shouting is not a good way to educate, because among the many negative consequences that carry, is the blockage of the child's brain.

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If we analyze it from the neurological point of view, what happens is that the screams (whose purpose is to warn of a danger) block the tonsil body of the brain, responsible for processing and storing emotions, activating the survival mode and preventing the entry of new information.

"If a child does not feel safe, the amygdala is activated and prevents the absorption and entry of information to the brain, blocking the entry of new information" - we can read in a scientific article published by the Association of Positive Discipline of Spain.

Therefore, if we want our children to really learn about something, we must explain it by talking calmly and creating an environment in which the child feels safe and secure.

If we shout at them to do or not do something, the only thing we will get is to block them, and in the long run they will act to avoid those screams, but not because they have internalized and learned how they should do it.

Shouting at them we cause stress and insecurity

The mental block that occurs when we are shouted at raise the levels of a hormone called cortisol, whose function is to alert the brain when it receives a threat.

So that, if the child grows and develops in a hostile environment where your brain continually perceives threats in the form of screams, punishments, scourges, ignoring your feelings ... will enter into that "alert mode" of which we speak, causing stress, fear, anxiety and insecurity.

These feelings will end up becoming a constant in their day to day, causing the child to grow fearful, distrustful, scary and with little self-confidence.

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The screams leave a mark on his personality

But shouting at our children "not only" causes them negative consequences in the short term, but also in the long term, since there are several studies that have shown that Screaming education can affect them in their adult stage.

According to research conducted in 2013 by the National Institute on Drug Abuse and the department of health at the University of Pittsburgh, children who had been educated with severe verbal discipline, experienced more behavioral problems and depressive symptoms in adolescence, than those who had not received screams during their childhood.

And the shouts leave an indelible mark on the child's personality, as does the physical punishment. What happens is that in general, much of society is not yet aware of the harm and inefficiency of educating screaming.

We are not giving you a good example

Parents are the mirror in which our children look at each other, and we are their guides and teachers. That's why it's so important educate them from the example, teaching them that we should not address people shouting, that we have to treat everyone with respect, and know how to debate with education and without losing our nerves.

As the expert, Tania García, told us in this interview, "Do not do with your children what you would not like to be done to you". And although we are human and we can have bad days, we must be aware that there are limits that should never be crossed, and in this way we will also be teaching our children not to transfer them.

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Because shouting at them, our children are not happy

Positive Discipline expert Jane Nelsen once said: "Where do we get the crazy idea that for a child to behave, we must first make him feel bad?".

And if we really think about it, we will realize that screams, physical or psychological catalogs, comparisons, blackmail and threats are not only not a good educational method, but also have a negative impact on the child, making him feel sad, humiliated and sunk.

Is this how we want our children to feel? Or, on the contrary, do we want happy, confident and safe children? Surely all parents agree on the answer.

Therefore, it is important to become aware, and act with our children from love, respect and empathy; dialogue in a positive way and encouraging active listening.