Friendships in adolescence: why they are important and how parents should act with our children's friends

As our children enter adolescence they will spend more time with their friends and less with us. It is something completely normal and natural, as well as very positive for its development.

Today we are going to analyze why teenage friendships are so important, and what should parents take into account to ensure that our children's friends are a good influence for them.

Friends, a fundamental pillar in adolescent life

The relationship of friendship begins at very early ages, and evolves over time to reach adulthood. However it is in adolescence when friendship becomes especially intense, being very likely, one of the most special relationships of how many we will have throughout life.

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During adolescence, our children go through a series of physical and emotional changes that leads them to move away from us and build their own independent identity. But since the human being is a social being by nature, lThe figure of friends becomes essential in this new stage.

For the adolescent, a friend is one who is living the same as him and, therefore, who can best understand his doubts, fears and concerns without fear of being judged or ridiculed, as he feels could happen to adults.

Types of teenage friendships

As we can read on the web In Family, of the AEP, teenage friendships are changing as the child enters new stages of development:

  • During early adolescence (between 11 and 14 years old), children tend to become small groups of the same sex with common interests. These friendships offer protection, empathy and fun.

  • From the age of 14 the groups of friends grow in number and mix with people of the opposite sex, giving rise a little later, to the first couple relationships.

As usual, teenage friendships are usually homogeneous, so that the child will choose friends with traits, values, attitudes or ideas very similar to his own.

What does the teenager look for in his friends?

  • The first thing the teenager looks for in his group of friends is understanding, empathy and speak freely Without feeling judged.

As we have commented above, the changes of this stage can cause the child to accumulate sensations and emotions that are difficult to assimilate. In this sense, friends are the ones who can best understand him, by living the same as him.

In Babies and more, our teenagers also suffer from depression and anxiety, and it is important to identify them in time to act.
  • Teenage friendship demand more loyalty than any relationship of friendship at another time in life.

The teenager entrusts his problems, doubts and concerns to friends, and hopes that they understand him, do not fail him, do not judge him and support him in good and bad times.

  • The teenager seeks feel accepted and welcomed in the peer group, as in any other stage of life, it is important to satisfy the feeling of belonging.

The danger of negative influences during adolescence

With everything mentioned it is not difficult to understand the great influence that friends exert on the adolescent. This influence can be seen in different aspects such as the way of dressing or speaking, musical tastes, opinions on a subject or including the way of behaving.

Although the influence does not have to be negative, it may happen that the adolescent feels pressured by his peer group to act in a certain way, and thus avoid the isolation and loneliness that would cause him to stay out.

At present, this pressure becomes more evident with the phenomenon of social networks, so parent education is key so that our teenagers learn to handle the Internet safely and do not feel influenced by the negative opinions of others.

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Parents should be interested in the friendships of our children

Although it may be tempting for parents to seek friendships for our teenage children (and thus avoid the danger of bad influences), we must let it be they themselves, motivating them to have friends and spend time with them.

But it is essential that parents meet our children's friends, we are interested in their lives and talk about them in a respectful way, without judging or belittling them, because in that case the teenager would interpret it as an attack on him.

A good way to meet your friends is inviting them home or seeking an approach with their parents. It is also important to have done a previous job that fosters a climate of trust with our son, and that allows us to maintain an open and sincere communication, in order to express each other our concerns, fears and doubts.

In Babies and more My teenage son is no longer a child, but he still needs me even more. We remember that although it may seem to us that at this stage of life our children move away from us, they still need us as much or more than before. Let's not let them down!

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